Archive for the ‘ Man/Men/Male ’ Category

Hide in the Closet Pleeeaaase Part I

(repost from Multiply.com)

Today I decided to try and log into my old Multiply.com account and to my surprise I remembered the username and password  (I haven’t been over there in ages) Well back when I was a part of that community, I did a segment of blogs called “Da Dilemma” blogs. Each post was a story that was based on a specific dilemma. I loved those blogs 🙂 I decided that I will post some of them here. I hope you enjoy!

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Da Dilemma: Hide in the Closet Pleeeaaase Part I

closetdoorRita Jones is trying something new in life. She is 30 yrs old, single and ready to mingle. In the past she has had a hard time with relationships so now she is no longer looking for Mr. Right. With her new outlook on love also came a new outlook on life, including a move to a nicer apartment and a new job.

About a month after she moved into the new apartment she noticed that her next door neighbor was quite a handsome guy and since she was trying “something new” She decided to ask him out. After they were both in the elevator one day, she made small talk with him, found out that his name was Shon and he was single so Rita asked him out. He agreed and actually seemed a little bit surprised that she had taken the initiative to ask him out.

After about a month of casual dating and sex, Rita realized that she liked Shon a little bit more than she wanted to admit, but they both had agreed that they wouldn’t push the relationship thing. One night while having drinks at Shon’s apartment, there was a knock at the door. Both Shon and Rita seemed surprised because he never had visitors unless it was one of his boys and no one ever showed up unexpectedly. Shon went to answer the door and Rita immediately knew that something was wrong. Shon came back without opening the door and Rita noticed that he was kind of tip toeing. He had a worried look on his face when he sat down beside Rita on the sofa. Rita asked him what was wrong and he looked at her and said “Rita I hate to ask you this, but can you go hide in the guest bedroom closet, I wouldn’t ask you this if it weren’t an emergency, but I really need you to go in there, it won’t be for long”.

Rita knew he had to be kidding, she was a grown ass woman and she was not about to go hide in someone’s closet for any reason…emergency or not. Rita blatantly told Shon no, and he damn near begged her to go hide in the closet. When she saw how serious he was about it she asked him who was at the door and he refused to tell her, he just said he needed her to get in the closet and he would explain later.

After he begged a little bit more Rita agreed, but told him that if it took more than fifteen minutes she wouldn’t care who was in there with him, she was coming out and demanding an explanation. Rita picked up her pumps from the floor, grabbed her purse and went to hide in the closet.

Rita sat in that closet for what seemed like an eternity. She looked at her watch and realized that she had been in there almost 30 minutes. Just as she was about to open the closet door she heard Shon out in the hallway arguing with a man. He kept saying over and over to Shon “I know what the fuck you are doing, you think you are so smart I know it Shon I know it.” Rita remained in the closet not knowing what to do. The guy then told Shon that he was not leaving until he found out the truth.

Rita didn’t know what to do. Next came loud thumps and bumps as if Shon and the guy were fighting. Then she heard a loud crash and she KNEW they were fighting. Rita stood in the closet feeling trapped and scared. She didn’t know who this guy was or what he was capable of, but she knew she couldn’t stay in the closet all night….

…so she just stood there..listening and waiting.

Should Rita stay in the closet until Shon tells her it is okay to come out, or does she come out and face whatever lies ahead?

Somehow we done got it twisted

8596-largeI recently witnessed a woman falling out, crying and screaming obscenities at the police for arresting her son-in-law and his brother for selling drugs and gambling.  These same two young men shoot dice and deal drugs all day, every day on the mother’s front porch.

….somehow we done got it twisted!

Now some of you may not see a problem with this, but BGT does. It has come to my attention that many black mothers have it twisted. No, actually they have it turnt upside down or bottom ways up as my grandmother would say.

Far too many black women are applauding bad behavior from the males in their family. They smile and accept baby after baby out-of-wedlock from their sons, but raise hell when their “baby boy”wants to get married. They cause all kinds of drama, hoping to save their son from marriage, BUT they had no problem when he was making those sweet little grand babies unmarried.  On other occasions they are aware of their sons criminal behavior, yet they have the audacity to get offended if the police take them to jail. They call that picking on them. Ok well maam if your son is on the corner selling drugs day in and day out, he is leaving himself open to be picked on.

It bothers me that mothers are not only gladly accepting bad behavior from their sons but they are his cheerleader and co-signer for bad behavior.  It is almost as if things have been twisted. These mothers stick up for hoodlum sons who do everything under the sun, and get upset when society labels them criminals and thugs. Maam, your son calls himself a thug in your presence, so why is it a problem when society labels him as a thug.

Somehow we done got it twisted…

I remember growing up and mothers not caring if their son was seven or seventeen. If you got out of line you would get put back in line. Nowadays grown men are living with their mothers, with their baby mama, the two children he has by her, the two children she had from a previous relationship, his best friend Clyde, Clyde’s girlfriend and their dog Rufus. They all live with the mother and she has no problem with all of these grown tale folks shackin’ at her house. She even keeps the sweet  grand babies so they can go out and party and come home high.

Again…somehow we done got it twisted….

When did it become okay to accept criminal behavior and triflingness from your children. I mean sure enough when they are grown you cannot control their actions, but you can still make sure that they know it is wrong. You can still tell them that you don’t agree with it and that you in no way support illegal activity and will have no part of it. Instead a lot of black mothers act as if society is picking on their babies and he is only doing the best he can. Oh really, is that the best he can do? Well damn, thats shameful then!

Black mothers need to learn to realize that loving your son does not mean co-signing on a triflin lifestyle. Regardless of what our children do, we love them. A mother’s love should be unconditional. But accepting and going along with mess is unacceptable mothers. Let’s quit babying these grown men as if they don’t know right from wrong. A mother should feel comfortable knowing that she taught her children right from wrong and if they choose to do wrong it wasn’t because they weren’t taught any better.

 

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