Archive for the ‘ Sex/Sexuality ’ Category

Booty Shakin…sick of it..did I mention I’m sick of it

Last week I asked my Facebook fam to give me suggestions for my blog. One of the suggestions came from a young lady who, like me, is sick and tired sick and damn tired of seeing booty shakin’ and booty wrangin’ (as my grandma calls it) on BET.

BET has gotten to the point where it is almost shameful. I used to think that maybe the head honchos over at BET didn’t realize that children were watching, but then I woke up and accepted the fact that the head honchos over at BET didn’t give a damn about corrupting the minds of the children that are watching. It is all about the Benjamins and obviously this day and age booty shakin’ brings in lots of Benjamins. The show 106 & Park on BET is geared towards teens, and I swear everytime I see a peek of it (by mistake) somebody is poppin, lockin or droppin. The show has very high ratings, and the children can learn all the hot, new twirk moves from the comfort of their own home. Just flip to 106 & Park and learn how twirk twirk that thang. smh…BET has to do better.

Music videos on BET in my opinion are borderline Soft Porn. The only thing missing is the actual act of sex, even though I am pretty sure that I caught a glimpse of a lil sex in the new Trey Songz video I Invented Sex.

I know many will argue that it is ultimately up to the parents to monitor what their children watch and hear, but let’s get real folks a lot of the music today is filled with pure, unadulterated corruption. There is enough vioence and sex in it to last these children a lifetime.

But let’s take a trip back in time. Do yall remember when Donnie Simpson hosted Video Soul on BET? Now THAT was a music video show.  (I had no idea Donnie was doing this now, just shows I’m not keeping up) I swear BET has soooo fallen off since then. Take a look at what we are now missing because BET has chosen to air music video  programs that for the most part have no sustenance and show black people in a not so positive light.

Donnie Simpson interview w/Angela Winbush (still love me some Angela!!)

Donnie Simpson interview w/ El DeBarge (I love me some El..and I like it and I like it 🙂

Karyn White performing live on Video Soul

Sherry Carter interview w/Envogue

…speaking of En Vogue, whatever happened to female singing groups that had more than one singer that could lead a song? I’m just saying, it’s okay to be able to dance and take care of backgrounds, but what about a group with the total package? Whatever happened to that?

That trip down memory lane makes me even more disgruntled by what you can see on music video programs today, especially those aired on BET. In case you don’t watch, here is what you are missing, but your children are seeing on BET…care to take a look….

Ester Dean f/Chris Brown-Drop it Low  (then even hump the floor on that one) ||blank stare||

Beyonce Kitty Kat  (luv me some Beyonce, but she does too much gyrating and twirking for the kiddos watching)

Along with the booty shaking and floor humping BET also offers a huge variety of music based solely on stuntin, driving new whips and wearing shiny jewelry.  I won’t get into that much because I have discussed it before and it hurts my head to think that so many songs can be written, recorded and made into videos over the same crappy, blingy, stuntin hot mess. ugh

I am honestly thinking of adding BET to my list of things I am silently protesting…well not so silently protesting. But it does mean that I will not watch, contribute funds to, or co-sign on behalf of it once it lands on the silent protest list. R. Kelly has been there so long that he is collecting dust.

I feel that it is time for black music and the lovers of black music to take a stand and bring back the music that we grew to love. Music that touched the soul and Set You Adrift On Memory Bliss. (luv that song to this day) Enough of the exploiting of black women, enough of the cursing and turning every song into a contest of who has the most bling. Who cares?

Whatever happened to music like this…

Zhane-Sending My Love to You

Sure they showed a little skin, but there was no twirking and gyrating. There was no one with a platinum grill in their mouth screaming obscenities and bobbing up and down.

Of course there is still good music out there. Not all artist have the limited talents of only making pop lock and drop it music or rapping about their new chains. Some artists still write from their heart and not their other lusting body parts. The chore is sifting out the crap to find the goodies.


Hide in the Closet Pleeeaaase Part I

(repost from

Today I decided to try and log into my old account and to my surprise I remembered the username and password  (I haven’t been over there in ages) Well back when I was a part of that community, I did a segment of blogs called “Da Dilemma” blogs. Each post was a story that was based on a specific dilemma. I loved those blogs 🙂 I decided that I will post some of them here. I hope you enjoy!


Da Dilemma: Hide in the Closet Pleeeaaase Part I

closetdoorRita Jones is trying something new in life. She is 30 yrs old, single and ready to mingle. In the past she has had a hard time with relationships so now she is no longer looking for Mr. Right. With her new outlook on love also came a new outlook on life, including a move to a nicer apartment and a new job.

About a month after she moved into the new apartment she noticed that her next door neighbor was quite a handsome guy and since she was trying “something new” She decided to ask him out. After they were both in the elevator one day, she made small talk with him, found out that his name was Shon and he was single so Rita asked him out. He agreed and actually seemed a little bit surprised that she had taken the initiative to ask him out.

After about a month of casual dating and sex, Rita realized that she liked Shon a little bit more than she wanted to admit, but they both had agreed that they wouldn’t push the relationship thing. One night while having drinks at Shon’s apartment, there was a knock at the door. Both Shon and Rita seemed surprised because he never had visitors unless it was one of his boys and no one ever showed up unexpectedly. Shon went to answer the door and Rita immediately knew that something was wrong. Shon came back without opening the door and Rita noticed that he was kind of tip toeing. He had a worried look on his face when he sat down beside Rita on the sofa. Rita asked him what was wrong and he looked at her and said “Rita I hate to ask you this, but can you go hide in the guest bedroom closet, I wouldn’t ask you this if it weren’t an emergency, but I really need you to go in there, it won’t be for long”.

Rita knew he had to be kidding, she was a grown ass woman and she was not about to go hide in someone’s closet for any reason…emergency or not. Rita blatantly told Shon no, and he damn near begged her to go hide in the closet. When she saw how serious he was about it she asked him who was at the door and he refused to tell her, he just said he needed her to get in the closet and he would explain later.

After he begged a little bit more Rita agreed, but told him that if it took more than fifteen minutes she wouldn’t care who was in there with him, she was coming out and demanding an explanation. Rita picked up her pumps from the floor, grabbed her purse and went to hide in the closet.

Rita sat in that closet for what seemed like an eternity. She looked at her watch and realized that she had been in there almost 30 minutes. Just as she was about to open the closet door she heard Shon out in the hallway arguing with a man. He kept saying over and over to Shon “I know what the fuck you are doing, you think you are so smart I know it Shon I know it.” Rita remained in the closet not knowing what to do. The guy then told Shon that he was not leaving until he found out the truth.

Rita didn’t know what to do. Next came loud thumps and bumps as if Shon and the guy were fighting. Then she heard a loud crash and she KNEW they were fighting. Rita stood in the closet feeling trapped and scared. She didn’t know who this guy was or what he was capable of, but she knew she couldn’t stay in the closet all night….

…so she just stood there..listening and waiting.

Should Rita stay in the closet until Shon tells her it is okay to come out, or does she come out and face whatever lies ahead?

Get Yo Husband!

Marriage Ain’t About Shit!

adultry-tourismOr at least that’s what a married man told me yesterday AFTER he asked for my phone number and AFTER he admitted to being married. This was BEFORE I said “No thank you, I don’t date married men.” and BEFORE I wanted to throw up in my mouth at this po pimp wearing Air  Jordans.

You could tell he thought he was hot stuff, but honestly the only two people who believed he was hot stuff were most likely he and his wife. And if she knew he was standing here smiling like a Cheshire cat, trying to obtain a mistress, she might view him differently also…or maybe she wouldn’t.

So many women these days are so happy to have a man…any man…that any kind of ole triflin behavior is accepted. I don’t know if this “acceptance” by wives and mistresses is part of the reason so many men are stepping out, or if too many men just aren’t taking their marriages seriously. Whatever the cause, I wanna scream “Get Yo Husband!”  ugh…

It seems to happen to me quite frequently. Someone’s husband approaches me looking for a good time, I see a ring on his finger and give him the big N-O. I know it may be a rarity these days to find a woman who will turn down a good time with a married man and whats in his wallet, but this chicka will pass on enjoying anyone else’s husband.

The Po Pimp who approached me yesterday obviously felt his nice, clean Jordans could possibly sway me to hop aboard his adultery train, but he had the wrong sistah. Not only do I not want any kind of relations (sexual or non sexual) with anybody’s husband, but I am utterly annoyed when someone’s husband approaches me and has the nerve to admit they are married and then casually say “But that doesn’t matter.”  They admit to being married, but like this Po Pimp they say either their marriage is on the verge of ending or that marriage isn’t all that it is cracked up to be. Negro puhleaze you all say that. But I wonder if you relay these same tidbits of information to your wives. They proclaim that  they won’t out, but they have too much responsibility tied to the marriage., BUT they say, those things won’t affect what we could have.

It sure won’t because we WON’T have anything. BGT says no to riding the married man train.  I also say no to po pimps, married or unmarried lol

sidenote: you gotta love Urban Dictionary’s 2nd definition of Po Pimp –>a po pimp is a pimp with no money and some busted, loose, broke ass hoes.  

LMAO…hilarious…but oh so true!


My ex doesnt know what a manwhore is…..

manwA few weeks ago we were sitting around talking, and as usual the talking turned into a  discussion aka an argument. And as usual we began arguing about the petty things that happened during our 5 year relationship and as usual he said something stupid that made me say thank God I’m no longer with you.

The stupid thing he said this time was in response to me saying that I never felt catered to in our relationship. Before he said the utterly stupid thing, he proclaimed that he did cater to me the best he knew how, and that when we first met he was young, so there was a lot he didn’t know at first. Then he said

Plus I was a manwhore when we first met, so the first few months shouldn’t even count

||blank stare||

My jaw dropped,  my eyes bucked and rolled hard enough to get stuck at the top of my eyelid. “You were a what?”

Of course he was stupid enough to repeat it.

I was a manwhore. I am going to be honest about it

I couldn’t believe that not only had I not known this, but he was stupid enough to admit that he had been a manwhore. OMG I had dated a manwhore.

That of course is when the big(ger) argument started. Now I had a reason to bring up every mistake he had made since I met him. Now I could call him every name I had said in anger over the years and have a valid reason for doing so. Now I could blame our break-up on something besides his immaturity and pettiness. Now I knew why things didn’t work. I had attempted to turn a manwhore into a husband. Had I known this tad bit of information going into the relationship there wouldn’t have been a relationship!

After saying quite a few rude things to him, some that were completely unrelated to this argument but were necessary due to his manwhore revelation, I decided that now I would play the little game I was so good at…well at least with him. It was called make up some shit and get him to tell you details he had no intention of giving. This game had worked on him numerous times over the years. I would pretend to know some information and go on and on and on until he gave up the real details.

So now I had to say something that made him  believe I knew more about his manwhoring, which would make him in return give me the information I wanted.

After bringing up a few past incidents that had left me suspicious and even calling his ex girlfriend a few ugly name (she had nothing to do with it, I just didn’t like her and wanted to call her ugly names) I still had no information from him. He just kept saying the same things I had heard over the five years we dated. “I never cheated on you.” “I was always faithful.” blah blah blah

Now I began to wonder why he would reveal that he was a manwhore if now he wanted to play saint. I decided that if I kept prying I might find something that I really didn’t need or want to know. Especially since we were no longer together. But before I let it go I had to make sure he knew how disgusted I felt that I had dated a manwhore for over five years and had been clueless to the fact that he even had the slightest of manwhore tendencies. I had to make sure he knew how nasty I thought he was and how I am thankful I never caught anything while messing around with his nasty manwhore tale!

About an hour after the argument and after I told him how utterly disgusted I was by his manwhore revelation. He came in and said that he felt like I was blowing the entire thing out of proportion. He said that true enough he had a lot of female friends back in the day, but for the mot part he was very selective on who he slept with.

I gave him an awkward stare and informed him that manwhores are not selective in who they bone (yes I said bone) that is why they are called manwhores DUMMY!

He stood there looking confused. Which I expected, because that is typical of a manwhore. Dazed, confused and nasty!

…fast forward a week

A week goes by and my ex calls and says that he needs to straighten something out. He said that he had a conversation with his sister about our falling out over him being a manwhore and he said she laughed so hard that tears came to her eyes. Again, he was confused. He didn’t know why we were making such a big deal out of a man who has more female friends than women and who is kind known as a ladies’ man.

I can’t say many good things about his sister, but I can say that she quickly corrected her manwhore..or not so manwhore brother. She gave him the real, low down dirty description of a manwhore…hence his phone call to me to straighten up the situation.  Thank God for clarity!

Music…the good ole days (I♥Music Post 1)


While blog browsing I came across a picture of MC Lyte and immediately the following lyrics began to flow through my head

You can cha-cha-cha to this Mardis Gras
I’m the dopest female that you’ve heard thus far
And I do get better, the voice gets wetter
Nobody gets hurt (as long as you let her)
Do my thing with an ’89 swing
The dopeness I write, I guarantee delight

Hot shit wasn’t it?

Sometimes I find myself getting completely lost in music. I put on a David Ruffin cd or maybe some old New Edition and I’m gone…zoning, somewhere back to a time and place where music grabbed a hold of your senses and wouldn’t let go. You had to pry yourself from its grasp because they were so tight and strong that even though you fought back, sometimes you eventually let yourself go to be engulfed by the music.

speaking of David Ruffin…check out this video…classic…

Music like that can’t be replaced. With today’s mixture of drop and shake your booty music and wanna be gangsta’s the quality of music is nowhere near the level it used to be.  Nowadays you have to partake of 99% of the stuff we really loved back in the day and find a few songs out of the 1% left to fulfill your music needs. But back in the day it wasn’t like that. You could throw on some Eric B & Rakim or some Whodini and forget yourself. You’d be jammin’ so hard that you’d be tempted to buy yourself a boom box and carry it on your shoulder like Radio Raheem just so you wouldn’t have to be away from the music for one moment.

The artists enjoyed what they were doing and we enjoyed listening to them and watching them perform. Back when New Edition said they were With You All The Way…it was believable. When LL Cool J said he would Crush You Like a Jellybean…it was believable lol When Whodini asked about Friends the listeners were like hmmm what about my friends, how many of us really have them? When Freddie Jackson crooned Have You Ever Loved Somebody….we got to thinking about real love…..Music used to sweep you off your feet and take you to another level. True enough there are some artists today that can hold their own such as Anthony Hamilton, Common, Kanye West, India Arie and a host of others, but it still doesn’t take the memory of the back in the day music from my heart and my head.

Here’s to us music lovers! Enjoy!

Whodini – One Love

LL Cool J – I’m Bad

(I aint seen shit like this SINCE!!!)

Marvin Gaye- What’s Goin On (live)

Salt & Pepa – Push It

Doug E. Fresh & Slick Rick on Soul Train

Talk About Love ♥


beach-love-sand-water1  ♥LOVE.

Notice the period behind that one single word love as if it were a complete sentence, a complete thought and the end of the complete sentence or thought.

With that being said I would like to ask a question…In relationships, when you talk about love, what exactly do you mean? When you say that you love someone it is automatically unconditional, is it conditional or is it just a beginner’s love and should beginner’s love even be considered love. For those that don’t know what I am referring to when I say beginner’s love I am talking about that sweet feeling that creeps upon you way before it should and makes your heart skip a beat over someone you don’t know the half or the whole about…you know…beginner’s love!

So many times people say that they love someone without knowing what stage of “like” they were in before they allowed love to slip from their mouth.  Of course there is no time limit or expectancy period on love, but sometimes love is so rushed that once the newness of it wears of you suddenly remember that you don’t even like this person that much so damn sure don’t love them. But then there is that tricky part because even though you don’t have that forever and ever and ever love for them, your heart still has love for them. You still love them, but which level of love you have for them has yet to be determined.

True love (they say) bears all, believes all, hopes all, and endures all. ((That’s a lot isn’t it)) If true love encompasses all of those things then I would have to say that the majority of the people who think that they love someone really don’t have true love. If all of this love floating around were all true, 100% unconditional love  then so many marriages wouldn’t end in divorce and so many people wouldn’t “love” everybody that came along that interest them.

I agree that true love bears all, believes all, hopes all, and endures all.  But that does not mean that a person should suffer or be treated unfairly by the one they love in order to continue loving them. You can love a person but know that they are not right for you. You can love a person but know that they cause you more harm than good. That doesn’t stop you from loving them, it just shows that even while harboring true, unconditional love for them you utilize your common sense and understand that love does not mean accepting mistreatment and that true love does not always mean two people will be together.

BUT who defines if love is true?  Each heart has its own configuration, so each person’s love is defined solely by them. Many people will say that if you truly love someone you won’t cheat on them. If you cheat then you didn’t really love them. BUT for those that have truly loved and have cheated they will tell you that when they cheated it did not affect the love they had for their spouse one bit. Just because they cheated their love was not altered and no love was lost for the one they proclaim true love for.

SO I ask, if you cheat does that mean that you don’t truly love someone? Is it possible to love someone and cheat and not not take from the other? For instance, if you cheat does it affect the love you have for your spouse and if you cheat does the love you have for you spouse affect the cheating?

Love does not come with a clause that says two people must remain together forever. Love does not come with a mandatory forever statue. True love may always exist in ones heart but the existence of love does not guarantee it in return or its continuance. ♥

The Holy Bible – How Much Do You Believe?

holy_bibleFirst let me start by saying that I am a Christian. I am saved and believe that Jesus Christ died for my sins and for that I am forever grateful. I take the Holy Bible as God’s holy word.

With that being said, I am putting myself out there by saying that I can honestly understand why many choose not to read or give the Holy Bible much significance.

Now don’t get me wrong, I try to live by the bible as best as I can (many shortfalls sadly) but for those who aren’t committed to the belief of the Gospel then there is undoubtedly much room for scrutiny.

For example many people believe that the events chronicled in the bible are just as sketchy as those described in the theory of evolution. Some take the theory of evolution as solid fact while others do not believe that it is an accurate or complete explanation of how human life began. This too goes for the bible. There are people who swear by the words contained in the Holy Bible while others feel that there may be some truth to the bible, but there is too much room for doubt for them to believe in its entirety.

Some Christians even have trouble coming to terms that every word written in the bible should be taken as truth. They read their bibles, they are taught from the bible in church, yet they still find difficulty in believing and abiding by what the word tells them.

One of the most controversial issues dealing with what the bible actually states is the subject of homosexuality. Many homosexual people (including Homosexual Christians) argue that the bible does not in any certain terms state that same sex relationships or sexual behavior is immoral. They also argue that nowhere in the bible is it written that the scriptures mainly used by true Christians today to note God’s judgment of homosexuality does not relate to homosexuality today, but rather that of the original meaning of homosexuality and therefore does not point out today’s definition and its context. 

Of course those who believe otherwise will generally point out this scripture in the 18th chapter of Leviticus

22Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

…followed by this scripture in Leviticus the 20th chapter

13If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

They will conclude by telling the story of Sodom and Gomorrah

Another small, but often talked about example of what is actually stated in the bible is the art of tattooing and body piercing. Many pastors touch on the topic of tattooing/body piercing somewhere along the way during their ministering. They generally use the following scripture:

Leviticus 19:28 (King James Version)

 28Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD.

For some, that is enough to make them believe that tattooing is forbidden by God because but for others that scripture does not exactly state that you should not get a tattoo. Then there are those that have read this scripture, are Christians yet they have tattoos and see nothing wrong with it because they do not feel that is in any way possible to live your life completely as directed by the bible. Everyone will fall short at some point in time, so yes they believe in the Bible but don’t feel that is a realistic thought that  one can follow the instructions for life given by the bible 100%.

I saw this acronym somewhere and it made me stop and think






 If the bible should be the instruction manual of how Christians live their lives, why is it so difficult to believe that even the controversial issues that many see inaccuracy in are true? Could it be that many of those who proclaim to be true Christians are not completely convinced that each word of the book of their God is 100% truth? Or, is it easier to believe the parts that suit you and that you choose to live by while leaving those that are not as convincing behind?

**And for those that may be interested here is what former President George W. Bush who is a Christian said about whether he believes the bible to be true.

**all scriptures noted are from the King James Version of the bible from**