Archive for the ‘ Black Girl Thinking ’ Category

Booty Shakin…sick of it..did I mention I’m sick of it

Last week I asked my Facebook fam to give me suggestions for my blog. One of the suggestions came from a young lady who, like me, is sick and tired sick and damn tired of seeing booty shakin’ and booty wrangin’ (as my grandma calls it) on BET.

BET has gotten to the point where it is almost shameful. I used to think that maybe the head honchos over at BET didn’t realize that children were watching, but then I woke up and accepted the fact that the head honchos over at BET didn’t give a damn about corrupting the minds of the children that are watching. It is all about the Benjamins and obviously this day and age booty shakin’ brings in lots of Benjamins. The show 106 & Park on BET is geared towards teens, and I swear everytime I see a peek of it (by mistake) somebody is poppin, lockin or droppin. The show has very high ratings, and the children can learn all the hot, new twirk moves from the comfort of their own home. Just flip to 106 & Park and learn how twirk twirk that thang. smh…BET has to do better.

Music videos on BET in my opinion are borderline Soft Porn. The only thing missing is the actual act of sex, even though I am pretty sure that I caught a glimpse of a lil sex in the new Trey Songz video I Invented Sex.

I know many will argue that it is ultimately up to the parents to monitor what their children watch and hear, but let’s get real folks a lot of the music today is filled with pure, unadulterated corruption. There is enough vioence and sex in it to last these children a lifetime.

But let’s take a trip back in time. Do yall remember when Donnie Simpson hosted Video Soul on BET? Now THAT was a music video show.  (I had no idea Donnie was doing this now, just shows I’m not keeping up) I swear BET has soooo fallen off since then. Take a look at what we are now missing because BET has chosen to air music video  programs that for the most part have no sustenance and show black people in a not so positive light.

Donnie Simpson interview w/Angela Winbush (still love me some Angela!!)

Donnie Simpson interview w/ El DeBarge (I love me some El..and I like it and I like it 🙂

Karyn White performing live on Video Soul

Sherry Carter interview w/Envogue

…speaking of En Vogue, whatever happened to female singing groups that had more than one singer that could lead a song? I’m just saying, it’s okay to be able to dance and take care of backgrounds, but what about a group with the total package? Whatever happened to that?

That trip down memory lane makes me even more disgruntled by what you can see on music video programs today, especially those aired on BET. In case you don’t watch, here is what you are missing, but your children are seeing on BET…care to take a look….

Ester Dean f/Chris Brown-Drop it Low  (then even hump the floor on that one) ||blank stare||

Beyonce Kitty Kat  (luv me some Beyonce, but she does too much gyrating and twirking for the kiddos watching)

Along with the booty shaking and floor humping BET also offers a huge variety of music based solely on stuntin, driving new whips and wearing shiny jewelry.  I won’t get into that much because I have discussed it before and it hurts my head to think that so many songs can be written, recorded and made into videos over the same crappy, blingy, stuntin hot mess. ugh

I am honestly thinking of adding BET to my list of things I am silently protesting…well not so silently protesting. But it does mean that I will not watch, contribute funds to, or co-sign on behalf of it once it lands on the silent protest list. R. Kelly has been there so long that he is collecting dust.

I feel that it is time for black music and the lovers of black music to take a stand and bring back the music that we grew to love. Music that touched the soul and Set You Adrift On Memory Bliss. (luv that song to this day) Enough of the exploiting of black women, enough of the cursing and turning every song into a contest of who has the most bling. Who cares?

Whatever happened to music like this…

Zhane-Sending My Love to You

Sure they showed a little skin, but there was no twirking and gyrating. There was no one with a platinum grill in their mouth screaming obscenities and bobbing up and down.

Of course there is still good music out there. Not all artist have the limited talents of only making pop lock and drop it music or rapping about their new chains. Some artists still write from their heart and not their other lusting body parts. The chore is sifting out the crap to find the goodies.

I Have a Problem with Joe Jackson

JJacksonI have a problem with Joe Jackson. No, I don’t personally know Joe Jackson, but in my opinion he is one of those fellas who you can smell the jerk oozing through his pours. I may be wrong, but I believe that having Joe Jackson as a father was a major contribution to Michael Jackson’s “issues”.  I know that MJ fans hate to admit that Michael had some “issues”, but let’s face facts, he did.

I think these issues began way back in the day when Poppa Joe decided that his boys would form a group and make him some money. Joe Jackson claims that the movie  The Jacksons was not a completely true picture of life in the Jackson home, but most people, myself included, believe that Joe was nothing to play with. He claims that he never beat his children  and that as a matter of fact, Katherine, their mother spanked the children more than he did, since he was away from home a lot, working two jobs. I can believe that Katherine spanked….and I can definitely believe that Joe beat.

click here to watch Joe Jackson on Larry King Live.

jjackson1Then there has been Joe’s heinous behavior since Michael Jackson passed away. At the BET Awards 2009 Joe was interviewed on the red carpet and he showed no compassion and honestly seemed as if he had no clue as to how the rest of his family was doing. Neither did he show much concern or signs of grief for losing a son. Not only did he seem detached from the happenings of the family, but Joe seemed to care more about his own “career.” While being interviewed by John Lemon of CNN Joe Jackson went on to give a shameless plug of his new record company and had his publicist to read a prepared statement.

It has also been said that  Joe has approached Michael’s children in an attempt to have them form a music group and do some touring. Joe says this is a bunch of jive, but in my opinion showing no compassion for the death of your own son is more than a  bunch of jive.

Video of Joe on the red carpet acting like a jive turkey.

Regardless of what Joe has to say, there is some underlying reason why his son would write him out of his will. There has to be some reason his wife of over fifty years lives in one home and he lives in another. There definitely is a problem and I think that problem is Joe Jackson!

Hide in the Closet Pleeeaaase Part I

(repost from Multiply.com)

Today I decided to try and log into my old Multiply.com account and to my surprise I remembered the username and password  (I haven’t been over there in ages) Well back when I was a part of that community, I did a segment of blogs called “Da Dilemma” blogs. Each post was a story that was based on a specific dilemma. I loved those blogs 🙂 I decided that I will post some of them here. I hope you enjoy!

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Da Dilemma: Hide in the Closet Pleeeaaase Part I

closetdoorRita Jones is trying something new in life. She is 30 yrs old, single and ready to mingle. In the past she has had a hard time with relationships so now she is no longer looking for Mr. Right. With her new outlook on love also came a new outlook on life, including a move to a nicer apartment and a new job.

About a month after she moved into the new apartment she noticed that her next door neighbor was quite a handsome guy and since she was trying “something new” She decided to ask him out. After they were both in the elevator one day, she made small talk with him, found out that his name was Shon and he was single so Rita asked him out. He agreed and actually seemed a little bit surprised that she had taken the initiative to ask him out.

After about a month of casual dating and sex, Rita realized that she liked Shon a little bit more than she wanted to admit, but they both had agreed that they wouldn’t push the relationship thing. One night while having drinks at Shon’s apartment, there was a knock at the door. Both Shon and Rita seemed surprised because he never had visitors unless it was one of his boys and no one ever showed up unexpectedly. Shon went to answer the door and Rita immediately knew that something was wrong. Shon came back without opening the door and Rita noticed that he was kind of tip toeing. He had a worried look on his face when he sat down beside Rita on the sofa. Rita asked him what was wrong and he looked at her and said “Rita I hate to ask you this, but can you go hide in the guest bedroom closet, I wouldn’t ask you this if it weren’t an emergency, but I really need you to go in there, it won’t be for long”.

Rita knew he had to be kidding, she was a grown ass woman and she was not about to go hide in someone’s closet for any reason…emergency or not. Rita blatantly told Shon no, and he damn near begged her to go hide in the closet. When she saw how serious he was about it she asked him who was at the door and he refused to tell her, he just said he needed her to get in the closet and he would explain later.

After he begged a little bit more Rita agreed, but told him that if it took more than fifteen minutes she wouldn’t care who was in there with him, she was coming out and demanding an explanation. Rita picked up her pumps from the floor, grabbed her purse and went to hide in the closet.

Rita sat in that closet for what seemed like an eternity. She looked at her watch and realized that she had been in there almost 30 minutes. Just as she was about to open the closet door she heard Shon out in the hallway arguing with a man. He kept saying over and over to Shon “I know what the fuck you are doing, you think you are so smart I know it Shon I know it.” Rita remained in the closet not knowing what to do. The guy then told Shon that he was not leaving until he found out the truth.

Rita didn’t know what to do. Next came loud thumps and bumps as if Shon and the guy were fighting. Then she heard a loud crash and she KNEW they were fighting. Rita stood in the closet feeling trapped and scared. She didn’t know who this guy was or what he was capable of, but she knew she couldn’t stay in the closet all night….

…so she just stood there..listening and waiting.

Should Rita stay in the closet until Shon tells her it is okay to come out, or does she come out and face whatever lies ahead?

Get Yo Husband!

Marriage Ain’t About Shit!

adultry-tourismOr at least that’s what a married man told me yesterday AFTER he asked for my phone number and AFTER he admitted to being married. This was BEFORE I said “No thank you, I don’t date married men.” and BEFORE I wanted to throw up in my mouth at this po pimp wearing Air  Jordans.

You could tell he thought he was hot stuff, but honestly the only two people who believed he was hot stuff were most likely he and his wife. And if she knew he was standing here smiling like a Cheshire cat, trying to obtain a mistress, she might view him differently also…or maybe she wouldn’t.

So many women these days are so happy to have a man…any man…that any kind of ole triflin behavior is accepted. I don’t know if this “acceptance” by wives and mistresses is part of the reason so many men are stepping out, or if too many men just aren’t taking their marriages seriously. Whatever the cause, I wanna scream “Get Yo Husband!”  ugh…

It seems to happen to me quite frequently. Someone’s husband approaches me looking for a good time, I see a ring on his finger and give him the big N-O. I know it may be a rarity these days to find a woman who will turn down a good time with a married man and whats in his wallet, but this chicka will pass on enjoying anyone else’s husband.

The Po Pimp who approached me yesterday obviously felt his nice, clean Jordans could possibly sway me to hop aboard his adultery train, but he had the wrong sistah. Not only do I not want any kind of relations (sexual or non sexual) with anybody’s husband, but I am utterly annoyed when someone’s husband approaches me and has the nerve to admit they are married and then casually say “But that doesn’t matter.”  They admit to being married, but like this Po Pimp they say either their marriage is on the verge of ending or that marriage isn’t all that it is cracked up to be. Negro puhleaze you all say that. But I wonder if you relay these same tidbits of information to your wives. They proclaim that  they won’t out, but they have too much responsibility tied to the marriage., BUT they say, those things won’t affect what we could have.

It sure won’t because we WON’T have anything. BGT says no to riding the married man train.  I also say no to po pimps, married or unmarried lol

sidenote: you gotta love Urban Dictionary’s 2nd definition of Po Pimp –>a po pimp is a pimp with no money and some busted, loose, broke ass hoes.  

LMAO…hilarious…but oh so true!

Africa in April

Africa in April Cultural Awareness Festival

 

africainapril_woman1             africainapril_logo       africainapril_1

 

The 23rd Annual Africa in April Celebration held in Memphis, TN will take place April 16-19, 2009 in Robert R. Church Park in downtown Memphis. This year’s featured country is The Republic of Mauritania. 

I will definitely be in attendance. I love going out to the festival each year and viewing and purchasing the beautiful paintings, handmade jewelry, clothing, handbags and a host of other rarities. The smell of the delicate incense fills the air along with the great food being prepared by the country’s natives.  The music is vibrant and flowing through the festival by way of the breezes from the Mississippi River. This is an event for the entire family. It is an opportunity for those young and old to get a glimpse of Africa and its major significance to African Americans.

“If we are to achieve a richer culture, rich in contrasting values, we must recognize the whole gamut of human potentialities, and so weave a less arbitrary social fabric, one in which each diverse human gift will find a fitting place.”
-Margaret Mead

This video has footage of past Africa in Aprica festivals —> Africa in April, Memphis, TN

Here is more information on the featured country of The Republic of Mauritania

National Geographic – Mauritania

Business Africa.net – The Islamic Republic of Mauritania

I also found this blog on Blogger that has good info on The Republic of Mauritania and some beautiful photos of the country –> Saharan Vibe – Mauritania

Music…the good ole days (I♥Music Post 1)

MUSIC

While blog browsing I came across a picture of MC Lyte and immediately the following lyrics began to flow through my head

You can cha-cha-cha to this Mardis Gras
I’m the dopest female that you’ve heard thus far
And I do get better, the voice gets wetter
Nobody gets hurt (as long as you let her)
Do my thing with an ’89 swing
The dopeness I write, I guarantee delight

Hot shit wasn’t it?

Sometimes I find myself getting completely lost in music. I put on a David Ruffin cd or maybe some old New Edition and I’m gone…zoning, somewhere back to a time and place where music grabbed a hold of your senses and wouldn’t let go. You had to pry yourself from its grasp because they were so tight and strong that even though you fought back, sometimes you eventually let yourself go to be engulfed by the music.

speaking of David Ruffin…check out this video…classic…

Music like that can’t be replaced. With today’s mixture of drop and shake your booty music and wanna be gangsta’s the quality of music is nowhere near the level it used to be.  Nowadays you have to partake of 99% of the stuff we really loved back in the day and find a few songs out of the 1% left to fulfill your music needs. But back in the day it wasn’t like that. You could throw on some Eric B & Rakim or some Whodini and forget yourself. You’d be jammin’ so hard that you’d be tempted to buy yourself a boom box and carry it on your shoulder like Radio Raheem just so you wouldn’t have to be away from the music for one moment.

The artists enjoyed what they were doing and we enjoyed listening to them and watching them perform. Back when New Edition said they were With You All The Way…it was believable. When LL Cool J said he would Crush You Like a Jellybean…it was believable lol When Whodini asked about Friends the listeners were like hmmm what about my friends, how many of us really have them? When Freddie Jackson crooned Have You Ever Loved Somebody….we got to thinking about real love…..Music used to sweep you off your feet and take you to another level. True enough there are some artists today that can hold their own such as Anthony Hamilton, Common, Kanye West, India Arie and a host of others, but it still doesn’t take the memory of the back in the day music from my heart and my head.

Here’s to us music lovers! Enjoy!

Whodini – One Love

LL Cool J – I’m Bad

(I aint seen shit like this SINCE!!!)

Marvin Gaye- What’s Goin On (live)

Salt & Pepa – Push It

Doug E. Fresh & Slick Rick on Soul Train

Teen Pregnancy-Post 1

belly-brownTeen pregnancy is on the rise….

I am pretty sure everyone is aware that teen pregnancy is on the rise. Everywhere you look there are babies having babies. I can speak personally on the topic because I was a teen mother. I got pregnant with my oldest son my senior year in high school.

One of the biggest disagreements I have when it comes to views of why most teen girls get pregnant is that they were somehow influenced by the media…I do agree that the media; including videos, television and the music industry play a major role in how teenage girls and boys view sex and their personal identities, but I disagree when it comes down to media influence and the actual act of having unprotected sex resulting in pregnancy.

For the most part I believe that teen pregnancy is the  result of carelessness and being irresponsible.  Unprotected sex is not the main result of media influence, unprotected sex is the main result of being irresponsible due to lack of knowledge or lack of putting the knowledge into play.

When teenagers are acting irresponsibly and having unprotected sex I can guarantee that images like the one below is not what is going through their head at that very moment.

harpers_narrowweb__300x41501

In the heat of the moment they aren’t concerned with how hot Britney Spears looked with her big belly or how fierce Halle Berry looked soon after she gave birth. No, they are concerned with having sex, nothing more, nothing less. 

True their paths before making the dangerous and immature decision of having unprotected sex may have beenfilled with consumption of half naked young ladies gyrating in music videos, or watching television shows and reading countless magazines that publish articles on hot pregnant celebrities, but that alone is not why teens are having unprotected sex and having babies.

Many of these teens who are having unprotected sex are not facing reality when it comes to what the act of not using protection can cause. Sure they know about sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies, but they still don’t always use protection for numerous reasons.

  • One reason being that they really don’t take protection that seriously.  They know that it is important but for them using protection each and every time they have sex is not a mandatory or necessary step.
  • Another reason is that many of them are putting ill fated trust in their partners and in their self. They are under the pretense that their partner is clean and that they both know how to not get pregnant even when not using protection. That may sound ridiculous, but it is reality. Many teens are using the “pull out” method also known as the highest baby making method to date. They are under the false assumption that a young man can pull out of the vagina before he ejaculates. This method is being used by countless numbers of teens, most of whom have or will soon come face to face with teen pregnancy. 
  • Others are not using protection because they really don’t feel comfortable buying condoms or talking to their parents or other adults about birth control because that means they are admitting that they are having sex. Instead of facing facts and getting the information and guidance that they need they sneak around and have unprotected sex putting their self at risk for STDs and unwanted pregnancies, along with tons of emotional stress.

The statistics show that teen  mothers are 40% more likely to

*drop out of school

 *end up single mothers

I wholly agree. I was a teen mother who had to drop out of college after the first semester, forfeiting a full scholarship. I also fell into the category of single parent by the age of 24.

An article published with stats from the CDC  on teen pregnancy rates states that  Mississippi has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the nation, followed by Texas and New Mexico. All three states have high numbers of teen births with the majority of the pregnancies being African American or Hispanics.  The article also states that; “Some conservative organizations have argued that contraceptive-focused sex education is still common, and that the new teen birth numbers reflect it is failing.”

I agree. The sex education classes offered in schools are a complete mockery.  Most teens are unfortunately learning about sex from their peers and from personal experience. They are not being informed in their schooling the hard hitting facts about sex, sexually transmitted diseases and teen pregnancy. They don’t take the classes seriously and the information provided in the classes is just the basic, these are your reproductive organs and information on body image. This information is informative, but not practical for teens that know what sex is, want to have it and know that they like it.

I was surprised to read that in some states two types of sex ed are classes being offered in schools depending on  what the state or local school district mandates. Both seem much more effective than the general Lifetime Wellness classes that many of us took and never thought twice about.

Even with these classes and some schools offering condoms, the rate of teen pregnancies is still on the rise, even more so for the Southern region of the United States. Personally I don’t know what can be done, when the information is readily available, there are countless forms of birth control and the evidence of the effects of  unprotected sex is in plain view for those who are taking the risk. Yet, teens everywhere are still neglecting to use protection.

This video really touched me. It reminds me so much of when I was a young mother and faced the reality that my baby depended upon me for everything that he needed. I knew that I had made a mistake that could not be changed, but the love I had for that little boy filled my heart enough that I could get over my mistake and try to be more for him and for myself.

Teen Pregnancy Post 2 to include the topics of 
(peer pressure, baby fascination 
parental involvement and generational teen pregnancy)