Posts Tagged ‘ sex ’

Booty Shakin…sick of it..did I mention I’m sick of it

Last week I asked my Facebook fam to give me suggestions for my blog. One of the suggestions came from a young lady who, like me, is sick and tired sick and damn tired of seeing booty shakin’ and booty wrangin’ (as my grandma calls it) on BET.

BET has gotten to the point where it is almost shameful. I used to think that maybe the head honchos over at BET didn’t realize that children were watching, but then I woke up and accepted the fact that the head honchos over at BET didn’t give a damn about corrupting the minds of the children that are watching. It is all about the Benjamins and obviously this day and age booty shakin’ brings in lots of Benjamins. The show 106 & Park on BET is geared towards teens, and I swear everytime I see a peek of it (by mistake) somebody is poppin, lockin or droppin. The show has very high ratings, and the children can learn all the hot, new twirk moves from the comfort of their own home. Just flip to 106 & Park and learn how twirk twirk that thang. smh…BET has to do better.

Music videos on BET in my opinion are borderline Soft Porn. The only thing missing is the actual act of sex, even though I am pretty sure that I caught a glimpse of a lil sex in the new Trey Songz video I Invented Sex.

I know many will argue that it is ultimately up to the parents to monitor what their children watch and hear, but let’s get real folks a lot of the music today is filled with pure, unadulterated corruption. There is enough vioence and sex in it to last these children a lifetime.

But let’s take a trip back in time. Do yall remember when Donnie Simpson hosted Video Soul on BET? Now THAT was a music video show.  (I had no idea Donnie was doing this now, just shows I’m not keeping up) I swear BET has soooo fallen off since then. Take a look at what we are now missing because BET has chosen to air music video  programs that for the most part have no sustenance and show black people in a not so positive light.

Donnie Simpson interview w/Angela Winbush (still love me some Angela!!)

Donnie Simpson interview w/ El DeBarge (I love me some El..and I like it and I like it 🙂

Karyn White performing live on Video Soul

Sherry Carter interview w/Envogue

…speaking of En Vogue, whatever happened to female singing groups that had more than one singer that could lead a song? I’m just saying, it’s okay to be able to dance and take care of backgrounds, but what about a group with the total package? Whatever happened to that?

That trip down memory lane makes me even more disgruntled by what you can see on music video programs today, especially those aired on BET. In case you don’t watch, here is what you are missing, but your children are seeing on BET…care to take a look….

Ester Dean f/Chris Brown-Drop it Low  (then even hump the floor on that one) ||blank stare||

Beyonce Kitty Kat  (luv me some Beyonce, but she does too much gyrating and twirking for the kiddos watching)

Along with the booty shaking and floor humping BET also offers a huge variety of music based solely on stuntin, driving new whips and wearing shiny jewelry.  I won’t get into that much because I have discussed it before and it hurts my head to think that so many songs can be written, recorded and made into videos over the same crappy, blingy, stuntin hot mess. ugh

I am honestly thinking of adding BET to my list of things I am silently protesting…well not so silently protesting. But it does mean that I will not watch, contribute funds to, or co-sign on behalf of it once it lands on the silent protest list. R. Kelly has been there so long that he is collecting dust.

I feel that it is time for black music and the lovers of black music to take a stand and bring back the music that we grew to love. Music that touched the soul and Set You Adrift On Memory Bliss. (luv that song to this day) Enough of the exploiting of black women, enough of the cursing and turning every song into a contest of who has the most bling. Who cares?

Whatever happened to music like this…

Zhane-Sending My Love to You

Sure they showed a little skin, but there was no twirking and gyrating. There was no one with a platinum grill in their mouth screaming obscenities and bobbing up and down.

Of course there is still good music out there. Not all artist have the limited talents of only making pop lock and drop it music or rapping about their new chains. Some artists still write from their heart and not their other lusting body parts. The chore is sifting out the crap to find the goodies.



My ex doesnt know what a manwhore is…..

manwA few weeks ago we were sitting around talking, and as usual the talking turned into a  discussion aka an argument. And as usual we began arguing about the petty things that happened during our 5 year relationship and as usual he said something stupid that made me say thank God I’m no longer with you.

The stupid thing he said this time was in response to me saying that I never felt catered to in our relationship. Before he said the utterly stupid thing, he proclaimed that he did cater to me the best he knew how, and that when we first met he was young, so there was a lot he didn’t know at first. Then he said

Plus I was a manwhore when we first met, so the first few months shouldn’t even count

||blank stare||

My jaw dropped,  my eyes bucked and rolled hard enough to get stuck at the top of my eyelid. “You were a what?”

Of course he was stupid enough to repeat it.

I was a manwhore. I am going to be honest about it

I couldn’t believe that not only had I not known this, but he was stupid enough to admit that he had been a manwhore. OMG I had dated a manwhore.

That of course is when the big(ger) argument started. Now I had a reason to bring up every mistake he had made since I met him. Now I could call him every name I had said in anger over the years and have a valid reason for doing so. Now I could blame our break-up on something besides his immaturity and pettiness. Now I knew why things didn’t work. I had attempted to turn a manwhore into a husband. Had I known this tad bit of information going into the relationship there wouldn’t have been a relationship!

After saying quite a few rude things to him, some that were completely unrelated to this argument but were necessary due to his manwhore revelation, I decided that now I would play the little game I was so good at…well at least with him. It was called make up some shit and get him to tell you details he had no intention of giving. This game had worked on him numerous times over the years. I would pretend to know some information and go on and on and on until he gave up the real details.

So now I had to say something that made him  believe I knew more about his manwhoring, which would make him in return give me the information I wanted.

After bringing up a few past incidents that had left me suspicious and even calling his ex girlfriend a few ugly name (she had nothing to do with it, I just didn’t like her and wanted to call her ugly names) I still had no information from him. He just kept saying the same things I had heard over the five years we dated. “I never cheated on you.” “I was always faithful.” blah blah blah

Now I began to wonder why he would reveal that he was a manwhore if now he wanted to play saint. I decided that if I kept prying I might find something that I really didn’t need or want to know. Especially since we were no longer together. But before I let it go I had to make sure he knew how disgusted I felt that I had dated a manwhore for over five years and had been clueless to the fact that he even had the slightest of manwhore tendencies. I had to make sure he knew how nasty I thought he was and how I am thankful I never caught anything while messing around with his nasty manwhore tale!

About an hour after the argument and after I told him how utterly disgusted I was by his manwhore revelation. He came in and said that he felt like I was blowing the entire thing out of proportion. He said that true enough he had a lot of female friends back in the day, but for the mot part he was very selective on who he slept with.

I gave him an awkward stare and informed him that manwhores are not selective in who they bone (yes I said bone) that is why they are called manwhores DUMMY!

He stood there looking confused. Which I expected, because that is typical of a manwhore. Dazed, confused and nasty!

…fast forward a week

A week goes by and my ex calls and says that he needs to straighten something out. He said that he had a conversation with his sister about our falling out over him being a manwhore and he said she laughed so hard that tears came to her eyes. Again, he was confused. He didn’t know why we were making such a big deal out of a man who has more female friends than women and who is kind known as a ladies’ man.

I can’t say many good things about his sister, but I can say that she quickly corrected her manwhore..or not so manwhore brother. She gave him the real, low down dirty description of a manwhore…hence his phone call to me to straighten up the situation.  Thank God for clarity!

The New Marriage

“My wife and I have an understanding”

weddingringsThat is what I was told recently by a married man who has extramarital affairs. Now as I have said before, maybe it is just my old fashioned ways that keeps me in this little box of morals and helps me to maintain my fear of God, but when did it become okay to have any kind of understanding with your wife except the understanding that you both would be faithful?

Well that thought goes with the old marriage, the new marriage sometimes and for some people incorporates openness and that great word of “understanding”.

 I am single and I respect marriage, so why is it that so many married people don’t respect marriage?

This guy went on to say that he has a girlfriend who knows that he is married, and that he maintains both relationships pretty well because they have an “understanding”. They both love him and yes he could be with just his wife but he doesn’t want to. The guy has options I guess. Obviously in his marriage he has the option to see other people.

When did marriage become open? If you want to see other people and have relationships with other people why get married? When did marriage become a relationship where you could see who you want, have sex with who you want, enjoying both the single and married life, as long as there was this “understanding”?

Who came up with this brilliant as shit policy of “understanding”?

So many people are taking marriage as just something to do. Who cares about the vow that was made before God, who cares that they vowed to love and cherish each other till death do they part? Those important concepts of the wedding vow have been disrespected and tossed aside. Now people marry, separate and move on with their lives as if the fact that they are still married is just a minor technicality.

I was watching Divorce Court one day and I heard a man say something that since then I have heard adulterers say over and over “I am married but separated”. If you are married and you don’t get a divorce or become widowed, aren’t you still married?

If you are done with the marriage, maybe you should do something about resolving it i.e. a divorce before you decide to move on with your life as if that little marriage thing you did a while back will just disappear.

Marriage was once a sacred union, now people wear marriage like a loose garment. They don’t hold on to it. If there is a problem with it, just let it go, no need to hold on, it’s only marriage….


Teen Pregnancy-Post 1

belly-brownTeen pregnancy is on the rise….

I am pretty sure everyone is aware that teen pregnancy is on the rise. Everywhere you look there are babies having babies. I can speak personally on the topic because I was a teen mother. I got pregnant with my oldest son my senior year in high school.

One of the biggest disagreements I have when it comes to views of why most teen girls get pregnant is that they were somehow influenced by the media…I do agree that the media; including videos, television and the music industry play a major role in how teenage girls and boys view sex and their personal identities, but I disagree when it comes down to media influence and the actual act of having unprotected sex resulting in pregnancy.

For the most part I believe that teen pregnancy is the  result of carelessness and being irresponsible.  Unprotected sex is not the main result of media influence, unprotected sex is the main result of being irresponsible due to lack of knowledge or lack of putting the knowledge into play.

When teenagers are acting irresponsibly and having unprotected sex I can guarantee that images like the one below is not what is going through their head at that very moment.


In the heat of the moment they aren’t concerned with how hot Britney Spears looked with her big belly or how fierce Halle Berry looked soon after she gave birth. No, they are concerned with having sex, nothing more, nothing less. 

True their paths before making the dangerous and immature decision of having unprotected sex may have beenfilled with consumption of half naked young ladies gyrating in music videos, or watching television shows and reading countless magazines that publish articles on hot pregnant celebrities, but that alone is not why teens are having unprotected sex and having babies.

Many of these teens who are having unprotected sex are not facing reality when it comes to what the act of not using protection can cause. Sure they know about sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies, but they still don’t always use protection for numerous reasons.

  • One reason being that they really don’t take protection that seriously.  They know that it is important but for them using protection each and every time they have sex is not a mandatory or necessary step.
  • Another reason is that many of them are putting ill fated trust in their partners and in their self. They are under the pretense that their partner is clean and that they both know how to not get pregnant even when not using protection. That may sound ridiculous, but it is reality. Many teens are using the “pull out” method also known as the highest baby making method to date. They are under the false assumption that a young man can pull out of the vagina before he ejaculates. This method is being used by countless numbers of teens, most of whom have or will soon come face to face with teen pregnancy. 
  • Others are not using protection because they really don’t feel comfortable buying condoms or talking to their parents or other adults about birth control because that means they are admitting that they are having sex. Instead of facing facts and getting the information and guidance that they need they sneak around and have unprotected sex putting their self at risk for STDs and unwanted pregnancies, along with tons of emotional stress.

The statistics show that teen  mothers are 40% more likely to

*drop out of school

 *end up single mothers

I wholly agree. I was a teen mother who had to drop out of college after the first semester, forfeiting a full scholarship. I also fell into the category of single parent by the age of 24.

An article published with stats from the CDC  on teen pregnancy rates states that  Mississippi has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the nation, followed by Texas and New Mexico. All three states have high numbers of teen births with the majority of the pregnancies being African American or Hispanics.  The article also states that; “Some conservative organizations have argued that contraceptive-focused sex education is still common, and that the new teen birth numbers reflect it is failing.”

I agree. The sex education classes offered in schools are a complete mockery.  Most teens are unfortunately learning about sex from their peers and from personal experience. They are not being informed in their schooling the hard hitting facts about sex, sexually transmitted diseases and teen pregnancy. They don’t take the classes seriously and the information provided in the classes is just the basic, these are your reproductive organs and information on body image. This information is informative, but not practical for teens that know what sex is, want to have it and know that they like it.

I was surprised to read that in some states two types of sex ed are classes being offered in schools depending on  what the state or local school district mandates. Both seem much more effective than the general Lifetime Wellness classes that many of us took and never thought twice about.

Even with these classes and some schools offering condoms, the rate of teen pregnancies is still on the rise, even more so for the Southern region of the United States. Personally I don’t know what can be done, when the information is readily available, there are countless forms of birth control and the evidence of the effects of  unprotected sex is in plain view for those who are taking the risk. Yet, teens everywhere are still neglecting to use protection.

This video really touched me. It reminds me so much of when I was a young mother and faced the reality that my baby depended upon me for everything that he needed. I knew that I had made a mistake that could not be changed, but the love I had for that little boy filled my heart enough that I could get over my mistake and try to be more for him and for myself.

Teen Pregnancy Post 2 to include the topics of 
(peer pressure, baby fascination 
parental involvement and generational teen pregnancy)

Has the church gone too far?

I attend a small Baptist church. You know, one of those small churches that sit on a hill, the ones that make you think of the Color Purple when Shug and the juke joint folks ran down the dirt road to the church where the choir was singing Speak to Me.

didn’t that chile sing that song!

My church is based on what I like to call old time religion. No pop locking because the choir is singing your favorite song, no huge bands playing R&B mixed with Gospel, no songs that straddle the line between secular and gospel and last but not least, no pretense for participation. My pastor will not wear fancy suits and buy a new car every year just to get attention. It is a bible based church and that’s the way I like it.

I say all of that to ask a question, has the church gone too far?

First let me say that this post is in no way meant to offend anyone or personally attack any specific person’s religious preference, place of worship or religious beliefs.

Not too long ago, World Overcomer’s Outreach Ministries Church here in Memphis, TN caught quite a bit of flack for a statue they had built in front of the church. The Statue of Liberation Through Christ cost the church a whopping $260,000.


The 72 foot statue which is a replica of the Statue of Liberty holds a cross in her right hand and the Ten Commandments in her left hand.  You can find the complete breakdown of the statue’s attributes and symbolism here.

Some were outraged by the placement of the statue and called the statue a form of idol worship and proclaimed that the church should be ashamed. My first thought was wow $260,000 that money could have built some low income homes or provided home placement or other necessities to families in need or even a shelter for the homeless….

The same church also came under heavy scrutiny when the pastor and his wife put on a play which sought to teach husbands and wives about their sexual relationships and how to keep your spouse interested. The stage where the pastor normally preaches was set up as a bedroom and the pastor and wife entertained the members of the congregation.

At this point many people felt that it was no longer a question it was true, the church had gone too far!

Then there are the churches that proclaim that the youth must be reached. These churches seem to be willing to bring anything into the church to get the youth to feel welcome and comfortable during worship. They allow things like this to take place in the church:

True, the youth do need to be reached, but is the only way to reach them is to let them lean wit it rock wit in on the church platform?

Along with sex plays and hip hop dancing there is also the lavish lifestyles of many of the pastors that have the eyebrows of many raised and wondering.  A while back WLMT Memphis news anchor Jeni Diprizio covered the story “Preacher’s Pads”  (which I cannot find the article anywhere, still searching though) where she investigated just how large pastors were living. After the research, the conclusion was that preacher’s were living VERY large. They had huge homes, multiple cars and many of the home’s mortgages were paid by the church. This was no surprise to many because they were members at some of these churches were the preachers drove Escalades while the members struggled to pay utility bills. However for some this was even more proof that church is no longer based on religion and worship but for the most part it is just a paycheck for the preacher and an entertainment outlet for the congregation.

Then there is TBN….

It has been around longer than I can remember and honestly the network does nothing for me. I know that they have a very faithful audience, some who contribute dutifully and others who tune in just to hear the word, but personally some of the stuff broadcast on TBN rubs me the wrong way.

There are a list of reasons TBN doesn’t provoke a Hallelujah from me, a few of the reasons include the prayer cloths, trinkets for donations and astonishing healing services I have an awkward feeling towards the Trinity Broadcasting Network (TBN). Remember this is the same network in which scandalous Jimmy Swaggart  proclaimed to heal souls and live by the word

did he say he would kill a homosexual????

AND the same network that allowed adulterous Jim Bakker to preach the word for so many years.

With the lavish living, sex in the pulpit and the uncountable number of Unholy Rollers, many people have given up on the church. They no longer believe that it is a place to worship or profess their love for God. These are the people who crinkle their noses at you and quickly say no thank you when invited to worship service. These are the people who believe that religion is overrated and most church services are artificial.

Has the church gone too far?

Searching the Black Girl Thinking Blog

allaboutmelargeOne of the major things I like about WordPress are the blog stats.  Before joining WordPress I had no clue as to who was viewing my blog and what they were looking for, but now with WordPress I can see how many people are lurking and get somewhat of an idea of where their lurking began.




With blogstats I now know that people come to the Black Girl Thinking blog  mainly to find

Sarah Palin porn||blank stare||

Sure I know that many people enter a string of search terms in the search box, but it is always quite funny to view my blog stats and see searches such as these

  • black girl thinking spanked (haha that one is hilarious…not gonna find that here folks OR anywhere else)
  • cornrows and sex
  • old sperm
  • hot israeli girl
  • white woman marry kenyan prince
  • reasons to beat your wife if not smoking

The last one is hilarious! As if there is ever a reason to beat your wife. Obviously someone has some curiosity about spousal abuse.

Regardless of the cause of the visit I am always appreciative of those that stop by. Whether the visit is to find information on Barack Obama, to see what I thought about the R. Kelly interview that should have shamed Kels but didn’t or to read about me being spanked I am thankful for the stop by. Each and every visit is appreciated!

Sorry To Be The Bearer of Bad News

Sorry to be the Bearer of Bad News

…but not everyone is cut out to be an entertainer.


 The bad news first: You suck. Yes, this news will probably leave you crushed and confused. You have always dreamed of making it big. You have been waiting years for your big chance. Sadly you would have been waiting forever on that big chance.

The good news: You can now stop making an ass of yourself. You now have been formally told that you don’t have what it takes. Now you know, and the saying goes “If you know better, do better.”

I know that news is devastating for some, but honestly it needed to be said.  Too many people are allowed to believe that they are great singers, dancers, comics etc. when they honestly aren’t. They may have a talent, but the one they choose to display is not it. Sadly, their friends and family members don’t want to kill their spirit and crush their dreams of superstardom, so they lead these people on, allowing them to think that they are the bomb like tic tic.

The truth hurts smiles_407

Take many of the contestants who were kicked to the curb on American Idol. The public show of (un)talent exhibited each season is hilarious. Then when they are told by the judges that they just aren’t up to par you see the (un)talented person storm from the audition room and outside the doors stand their support system; their friends and family members who were rooting them on. They stand there holding their breath, nervous as can be, waiting as if they believed the person would make it through. Bullshit! They sound horrible at home, so what, do these people believe that there is something special about the American Idol casting that will bring out some hidden potential in this person.

Here are few clips of American Idol Rejects that made me chuckle profusely.

(note the first chick..her mom says she has the whole package..a damn shame mom..a damn shame)


And who could forget Margaret. I was ——–DEAD——– when she said she was 26 years old

Of course we know that some of these people only try out for their moment in the spotlight, a chance to have their face shown around the world, but some of these people really think that they have talent, and I honestly I don’t blame them (well not that much) I think their peers deserve at least 75% of the blame for not telling them the truth. True some of them could care less about the truth, but dammit at least they would have been told by people who cared.

And let’s not forget about the people who Think They Can Dance. Many of them have also been allowed to believe for many, many years by friends and family that they are dancing machines..


Here is SEX (yes this guy actually calls himself SEX) from the show So You Think You Can Dance

***think being the keyword***

side note: this is completely irrelevant to his dancing, BUT was I not the only one who did not find one tiny thing sexy about this guy..nothing that even whispered sex? I dunno, maybe he has another reason for the nickname that I know he had to have given himself lol

*oh and just a tiny note on rappers- Not everyone should try to be one. I guess it may just be a fad, but 9 out of 10 guys you meet these days say they are a rapper. It has become so common now that I believe them. I know that sounds crazy, but I used to think to myself, now all of yall can’t seriously be rappers. But with it happening so often I believe each and everyone who tells me that they are a rapper. Truth or not, I’m sick of hearing it so I just believe them. And let’s not even begin with the middle age men who suddenly desire a rap career…quit it people Sheesh!


One more video for the road…

note he says he can do special moves lol..okaaay yeah those moves were quite special