Posts Tagged ‘ Children ’

Booty Shakin…sick of it..did I mention I’m sick of it

Last week I asked my Facebook fam to give me suggestions for my blog. One of the suggestions came from a young lady who, like me, is sick and tired sick and damn tired of seeing booty shakin’ and booty wrangin’ (as my grandma calls it) on BET.

BET has gotten to the point where it is almost shameful. I used to think that maybe the head honchos over at BET didn’t realize that children were watching, but then I woke up and accepted the fact that the head honchos over at BET didn’t give a damn about corrupting the minds of the children that are watching. It is all about the Benjamins and obviously this day and age booty shakin’ brings in lots of Benjamins. The show 106 & Park on BET is geared towards teens, and I swear everytime I see a peek of it (by mistake) somebody is poppin, lockin or droppin. The show has very high ratings, and the children can learn all the hot, new twirk moves from the comfort of their own home. Just flip to 106 & Park and learn how twirk twirk that thang. smh…BET has to do better.

Music videos on BET in my opinion are borderline Soft Porn. The only thing missing is the actual act of sex, even though I am pretty sure that I caught a glimpse of a lil sex in the new Trey Songz video I Invented Sex.

I know many will argue that it is ultimately up to the parents to monitor what their children watch and hear, but let’s get real folks a lot of the music today is filled with pure, unadulterated corruption. There is enough vioence and sex in it to last these children a lifetime.

But let’s take a trip back in time. Do yall remember when Donnie Simpson hosted Video Soul on BET? Now THAT was a music video show.  (I had no idea Donnie was doing this now, just shows I’m not keeping up) I swear BET has soooo fallen off since then. Take a look at what we are now missing because BET has chosen to air music video  programs that for the most part have no sustenance and show black people in a not so positive light.

Donnie Simpson interview w/Angela Winbush (still love me some Angela!!)

Donnie Simpson interview w/ El DeBarge (I love me some El..and I like it and I like it 🙂

Karyn White performing live on Video Soul

Sherry Carter interview w/Envogue

…speaking of En Vogue, whatever happened to female singing groups that had more than one singer that could lead a song? I’m just saying, it’s okay to be able to dance and take care of backgrounds, but what about a group with the total package? Whatever happened to that?

That trip down memory lane makes me even more disgruntled by what you can see on music video programs today, especially those aired on BET. In case you don’t watch, here is what you are missing, but your children are seeing on BET…care to take a look….

Ester Dean f/Chris Brown-Drop it Low  (then even hump the floor on that one) ||blank stare||

Beyonce Kitty Kat  (luv me some Beyonce, but she does too much gyrating and twirking for the kiddos watching)

Along with the booty shaking and floor humping BET also offers a huge variety of music based solely on stuntin, driving new whips and wearing shiny jewelry.  I won’t get into that much because I have discussed it before and it hurts my head to think that so many songs can be written, recorded and made into videos over the same crappy, blingy, stuntin hot mess. ugh

I am honestly thinking of adding BET to my list of things I am silently protesting…well not so silently protesting. But it does mean that I will not watch, contribute funds to, or co-sign on behalf of it once it lands on the silent protest list. R. Kelly has been there so long that he is collecting dust.

I feel that it is time for black music and the lovers of black music to take a stand and bring back the music that we grew to love. Music that touched the soul and Set You Adrift On Memory Bliss. (luv that song to this day) Enough of the exploiting of black women, enough of the cursing and turning every song into a contest of who has the most bling. Who cares?

Whatever happened to music like this…

Zhane-Sending My Love to You

Sure they showed a little skin, but there was no twirking and gyrating. There was no one with a platinum grill in their mouth screaming obscenities and bobbing up and down.

Of course there is still good music out there. Not all artist have the limited talents of only making pop lock and drop it music or rapping about their new chains. Some artists still write from their heart and not their other lusting body parts. The chore is sifting out the crap to find the goodies.

Reason # 15874 Why we ♥ Michelle Obama

Reason # 15874 Why we ♥ Michelle Obama=She is NORMAL

M Obama double dutchHave you seen the pictures of the First Lady Michelle Obama hula hoopin and jumpin’ a lil Double Dutch. If we didn’t know any better we’d think she was normal..oh right…SHE IS NORMAL..and in my opinion that is one of the main reasons I am soooo proud to have a down to earth, relatable 1st Lady.

I admire Mrs. Obama. She remains grounded even though her husband is the President of the United States of America. She is still a mother and wife and she can still relate to the people. I can’t say that for the previous first ladies. Not only did they appear unapproachable and stiff, but I doubt you would have caught either one of them out on the front lawn of the White House with a hula hoop or a jump rope. Can you imagine Barbara Bush doing anything with a hula hoop besides putting it away?  However OUR first lady said bring it on, she got out there and gave it a go. Reports say she didn’t do so well with jumping rope double dutch, but I bet you anything even if they had tossed out a lil hot peas she would have tried it too. You go Michelle. (Look at me calling her by her first name like I know her personally lol, but thats just how down to earth she seems, and oh btw, cute outfit Michelle 🙂

The festivities that took place on the front lawn of the White House were not just for fun. They were part of The Healthy Kids Fair, hosted on October 21, 2009 by none other than the First Lady herself. Mrs. Obama invited about one hundred children and parents from local elementary schools to attend.  The fair was intended to encourage children to be more active and eat better. It included exercise activities and a chef preparing healthy foods on the front lawn of the White House.  Mrs. Obama spoke to the children about eating healthy and emphasized that you can have fun while eating healthy!

read more here

Can we say GO Mrs. Obama!

South Memphis, TN (drugs, violence, murder)

mdmlesbear3_t220While driving home a few days ago my son asked me why there were teddy bears on the telephone poles. I knew the answer, but having to tell a nine year old child that those teddy bears were placed there because someone was killed in that location was not an easy thing to do.

I told him that those teddy bears meant that someone was killed at that spot and their friends and family placed the teddy bears there in remembrance and to show how much they loved them. It was a tribute to a loved one they lost.

So as we drove along, mind you this is the neighborhood I grew up in, we passed approximately 4 utility poles adorned with stuffed animals in a two mile radius. My son didn’t ask any further questions, but it saddened me that in just within two miles at least four people had lost their life within a year’s time.  I can accurately say that it has been within a year because I have seen the stories on the news, time and time again of murders, shootings and stabbings in this part of South Memphis. The stories below are just a fraction of what has been going on in the past year in this area

Body found burning in garbage can behind South Memphis home

Man shot in Killed in the Driveway of South Memphis Home

Clerk Shot in head at South Memphis Store

Store Clerk Shot During Robbery in South Memphis

18 Year Old Stabbed and Killed by 13 year old at South Memphis Apartment Complex

Why is this area so saturated with crime? 

I remember growing up in this neighborhood and being afraid if I heard that someone was killed, not that crime was not an issue back then, but it was definitely not as prominent as it is today.  Drugs are being sold in huge capacity and murders are taking place almost daily. It is frightening to know that people are losing their lives almost daily where I was born and raised. Drug addicts adorn almost every nook and cranny of the neighborhood and honestly the people who were fighting for a better community seem to have given up. The fight seems like a lost battle when the majority is crime, drugs and murder and the minority are the law abiding citizens who want things to be better.

I read this at the Thaddeus Matthews blog- Are Neighborhood Stores Contributing to the drug trade?

That was quite interesting to me. I had no clue those were being sold and I definitely didn’t know what they were used for, but I do know that most of the corner stores in the neighborhood have drug sells going on right at their front door. Drug dealers stand in front of the stores each and every day selling dope, and of course the store owners (mostly Iranian or Asian) know that the drugs are being sold, but nothing is done about it. Then a portion of the store owners have illegal dealings going on aside from the drugs being sold along with and outside of the guys slinging dope outside the store’s front door.

I have lived in Memphis, TN all of my life and I am appalled that we are ranked number two in the nation for violent crime; appalled but not in disbelief.  I hear the stories each and every day and many are so close to home that it makes me shiver. I remember watching the show The First 48  and seeing the Memphis episodes and shaking my head because there is so much murder and sadness. Then when the Lester Street Murders happened I was so shaken that it took me a while to realize that it was real. Six people including two children had indeed been murdered in my hometown. It was such a horrible event but even with that tragedy still fresh in our minds murders, robberies and every other act of violence were still taking place as if this mass murder had not just taken place. This city has taken a violent and destructive turn, one in which I cannot explain and have no answer to how things can change. When will the violence end?

Danielle Malmquist Custody Case

From the moment I heard the story ofDanielle Malmquist’s ugly custody battle with her ex-husband over their two young boys on My Fox Memphis, I smelled a rat. Typically I don’t jump to conclusions when it comes to situations like this because there are always three sides to the story, her side, his side and the truth. So upon hearing her side I decided that something just wasn’t right.  

Here are two videos of Ms. Malmquist from My Fox Memphis telling her story to anyone who will listen

The main point that makes me believe that Danielle Malmquist’s side of the story is not the complete truth is the fact that her children were taken from her, the father was given sole custody, leaving the mother with only visitation rights. For those who have any knowledge of divorces and or child custody you know that removing a child from the custody of their mother is not a very easy thing to do. In most cases unless the mother is found unfit, the children will remain with her regardless of who the children want to live with. In this case, with allegations flowing from both parents the children were somehow removed from the mother’s care and she was given visitation. Not joint custody…visitation.

I found this old story about Danielle Malmquist on the Thaddeus Matthews blog, which might I add always has the best stories and on point topics from Memphis.From the comments you can tell that no one really knows the truth about this case. Amidst Ms. Malmquist accusations that her husband who is a pilot for Federal Express is trying to defame her reputation and fabricate stories about her, she also alleges that Federal Express is somehow tied in with the conspiracy.

Ms. Malmquist tearfully recounts the story to the news about how difficult and expensive it is for her to see her children who live in Memphis while she resided in California (she has recently moved back to Memphis). Ms. Malmquist reported that the expenses to see her children are much more than she can afford to pay (she makes $9.25/hr) and that she is being treated unfairly by the court system. Here are the estimates of what Ms. Malmquist would pay monthly if she chose follow the court order 

$325/month child support

$800/month fee for visitation at family service’s center

$200/month travel cost

True, that may seem a tad bit on the expensive side for any person to see their children, but I have a question, does anyone consider that when a father is ordered visitation? No one wants to hear a father crying and pleading because he has to pay expenses for his children. No one gives a damn that he feels that he doesn’t make enough money to see his children as much as he would like. So what should make Danielle Malmquist’s plight so heart wrenching?

What I would like to know is why is she being required to visit her children in a supervised environment?

Why have all of the agencies that Ms. Malmquist sought help from turned her down?

Why is she still unable to see her children as ordered now that she has moved back to Memphis. That should greatly cut down on the expenses, so why is she cancelling visitation visits.

After hearing that Ms. Malmquist was jailed  for contempt of court, stemming from harassment of her ex husband and violation of the judge’s order I am beginning to wonder if her intentions are solely focused on reclaiming custody of her children or if Ms. Malmquist has a hidden agenda.

I would definitely like to know the end result of this case, if there ever is one.

Teen Pregnancy-Post 1

belly-brownTeen pregnancy is on the rise….

I am pretty sure everyone is aware that teen pregnancy is on the rise. Everywhere you look there are babies having babies. I can speak personally on the topic because I was a teen mother. I got pregnant with my oldest son my senior year in high school.

One of the biggest disagreements I have when it comes to views of why most teen girls get pregnant is that they were somehow influenced by the media…I do agree that the media; including videos, television and the music industry play a major role in how teenage girls and boys view sex and their personal identities, but I disagree when it comes down to media influence and the actual act of having unprotected sex resulting in pregnancy.

For the most part I believe that teen pregnancy is the  result of carelessness and being irresponsible.  Unprotected sex is not the main result of media influence, unprotected sex is the main result of being irresponsible due to lack of knowledge or lack of putting the knowledge into play.

When teenagers are acting irresponsibly and having unprotected sex I can guarantee that images like the one below is not what is going through their head at that very moment.

harpers_narrowweb__300x41501

In the heat of the moment they aren’t concerned with how hot Britney Spears looked with her big belly or how fierce Halle Berry looked soon after she gave birth. No, they are concerned with having sex, nothing more, nothing less. 

True their paths before making the dangerous and immature decision of having unprotected sex may have beenfilled with consumption of half naked young ladies gyrating in music videos, or watching television shows and reading countless magazines that publish articles on hot pregnant celebrities, but that alone is not why teens are having unprotected sex and having babies.

Many of these teens who are having unprotected sex are not facing reality when it comes to what the act of not using protection can cause. Sure they know about sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies, but they still don’t always use protection for numerous reasons.

  • One reason being that they really don’t take protection that seriously.  They know that it is important but for them using protection each and every time they have sex is not a mandatory or necessary step.
  • Another reason is that many of them are putting ill fated trust in their partners and in their self. They are under the pretense that their partner is clean and that they both know how to not get pregnant even when not using protection. That may sound ridiculous, but it is reality. Many teens are using the “pull out” method also known as the highest baby making method to date. They are under the false assumption that a young man can pull out of the vagina before he ejaculates. This method is being used by countless numbers of teens, most of whom have or will soon come face to face with teen pregnancy. 
  • Others are not using protection because they really don’t feel comfortable buying condoms or talking to their parents or other adults about birth control because that means they are admitting that they are having sex. Instead of facing facts and getting the information and guidance that they need they sneak around and have unprotected sex putting their self at risk for STDs and unwanted pregnancies, along with tons of emotional stress.

The statistics show that teen  mothers are 40% more likely to

*drop out of school

 *end up single mothers

I wholly agree. I was a teen mother who had to drop out of college after the first semester, forfeiting a full scholarship. I also fell into the category of single parent by the age of 24.

An article published with stats from the CDC  on teen pregnancy rates states that  Mississippi has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the nation, followed by Texas and New Mexico. All three states have high numbers of teen births with the majority of the pregnancies being African American or Hispanics.  The article also states that; “Some conservative organizations have argued that contraceptive-focused sex education is still common, and that the new teen birth numbers reflect it is failing.”

I agree. The sex education classes offered in schools are a complete mockery.  Most teens are unfortunately learning about sex from their peers and from personal experience. They are not being informed in their schooling the hard hitting facts about sex, sexually transmitted diseases and teen pregnancy. They don’t take the classes seriously and the information provided in the classes is just the basic, these are your reproductive organs and information on body image. This information is informative, but not practical for teens that know what sex is, want to have it and know that they like it.

I was surprised to read that in some states two types of sex ed are classes being offered in schools depending on  what the state or local school district mandates. Both seem much more effective than the general Lifetime Wellness classes that many of us took and never thought twice about.

Even with these classes and some schools offering condoms, the rate of teen pregnancies is still on the rise, even more so for the Southern region of the United States. Personally I don’t know what can be done, when the information is readily available, there are countless forms of birth control and the evidence of the effects of  unprotected sex is in plain view for those who are taking the risk. Yet, teens everywhere are still neglecting to use protection.

This video really touched me. It reminds me so much of when I was a young mother and faced the reality that my baby depended upon me for everything that he needed. I knew that I had made a mistake that could not be changed, but the love I had for that little boy filled my heart enough that I could get over my mistake and try to be more for him and for myself.

Teen Pregnancy Post 2 to include the topics of 
(peer pressure, baby fascination 
parental involvement and generational teen pregnancy)

Sex Offender (Rights)??

sexoffendersregistry-220x165Today I was reading my news feed from My Eyewitness News  and I read an article about a most wanted sex offender that was captured here in Memphis. He has been on the run since 2006 from Boston, MA where he was charged with fondling a child. He was also charged with violating the rules of the sex offender registry, which most likely means he failed to register and/or keep his information updated.

I check the Tennessee Sex Offender Registry  or the Family Watchdog sex offender site on a regular basis for two main reasons:

  1. I want to know what sex offenders live in my neighborhood, near my son’s school and any other location I frequent (you can search by zip code and street address/name)
  2. I want to know if anyone I know is listed as a sex offender (you can do searches by last name only or first and last)

In my opinion the Sex Offender Registry is a great tool for citizens because pertinent information is provided. The public has every right to know if a child molester or rapist is living next door to them or within walking distance from their child’s school. We have every right to know who they are and where they are.

If it weren’t for Megan’s Law, the public would still be left in the dark as to what violent sex offenders are lurking right under their noses. Even though there are plenty of them who are either unregistered or have never been convicted, at least there is a system that tracks those who are registered. For those that don’t know about Megan’s Law, here is a link that will provide more info. (Megan’s Law) Megan’s law was created after the murder of 7yr old Megan Kanka who was killed by a twice convicted sex offender who moved to her neighborhood. Megan’s Law is basically designed to provide the public with information on potentially dangerous sex offenders in their neighborhoods/communities etc. After Megan’s Law was passed, thus came the sex offender databases, in which people could search the online databases for sex offenders in their zip codes/cities/states.

However, many sex offenders have a different view of these registries. They feel that their right to privacy is being violated due to their information being on public display in the database. Many say that they have been harassed, attacked and some even run out of town all because they were listed as a sex offender. They feel that the laws do not protect them against these personal attacks, because the registry is open to the public and accessible for all to see.

On a personal note I believe that every sex offender who is convicted should be automatically registered in the databse before they leave the court house, police station etc. They should not leave it up to these scumbags to register on their own. True, they may not have the correct address information, but they will have their fingerprints, photo and other pertinent information if these criminals need to be found in the future. As for these convicted rapists and other sex offenders who feel violated, who gives a damn. You violated someone when you sexually assaulted them, so why do you feel that anyone should even consider your rights. Once you committed the crime, the information became part of public record. That means it is open for the public to view. I know it may be embarrassing to have your name, address, photo and other personal information logged into a database under the title of Sex Offender, but that’s what you did, you committed a sexual offense so why be embarrassed, ashamed or hurt by the title. You earned it..wear it!

The nerve of someone who has forced them self on someone and taken away their sense of security and in many cases scarred them for life to scream victim. The victim is the person you attacked, you are the suspect/convict/criminal, not the victim. Your rights to privacy were terminated when you decided to take something that did not belong to you. I have no sympathy for these predators who see something and have no problem with taking it. The public needs protection from criminals like this and the sex offender registry is very beneficial in helping the public to know what persons in their vicinity has committed these crimes in the past, because in many cases they will committ them again. The public has the right to be informed!

I Am NOT Smarter than a 3rd Grader

 Recently I came to a realization; I am NOT smarter than a 3rd grader. Now this realization did not come from watching the show Are You Smarter than A 5th Grader, even though I have watched it from time to time. No this realization came from helping my 3rd grade son with his homework, or at least attempting to help my 3rd grade son with his homework.

Math has always been the big no-no subject for me, but surprisingly Social Studies is now on the list of who, what, ummm I don’t know subjects for me. Who would have thought that 3rd grade Social Studies would have me puzzled and confused? For some odd reason the supposedly simple questions asked on my son’s Social Studies worksheets seem like a foreign language to me; Every time my son needs assistance I have to read, then re-read, then ponder and fumble about 3rd grade questions. I have always considered myself an averagely smart person, but having no clue when it comes to 3rd grade questions concerning colonies, maps and how laws are made, makes me think twice about how smart I really am. Now had it been the 3rd grade math that had me scratching my head for answers, I wouldn’t be too surprised (even though admitting that to myself is quite frightening) but I had issues with math starting in 2nd grade all the way up to college. Sadly I have to admit that the questions given to these 3rd graders make me resort to looking online for answers, pulling out dictionaries and even resorting to hand gestures and drawing figures on scratch paper to try and locate an answer, to no avail, because I still am desolate when it comes to a correct answer.

Which leaves me to believe that all of those years I answered questions with answer C when I was unsure which answers were correct may not have been the best option for me. Even though I was not alone in this answer C business because this guy here who was actually on the show Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader says that he also marked C because he was told also that when all else fails, go with Answer C.

If asked, I couldn’t tell you much of anything concerning ancient civilizations, the foundations of our government or its history and don’t dare ask me about any wars…you most definitely wouldn’t get a valid answer. And who in the hell is Patrick Henry; I remember seeing something about him on a worksheet and went “Patrick Who? How did that happen, did I forget it all…how could it be possible to forget everything you learned in the subject of Social Studies except a few things concerning maps and the continents?

I know that I must have known these things at some point of time in my life, but after not having to use it for so many years, my mind dissolved all of that information and any remnants of it, so now my mind is completely devoid of Social Studies and its entities. Lol

I did gain a very valuable lesson from my loss of once held knowledge. “If you don’t use it, you will lose it!”