Posts Tagged ‘ Celebrities ’

Oprah Winfrey’s Double Standard on Domestic Violence

bebeoprah11 I am not an Oprah fan…..

I used to be one of those big Oprah fans and dedicated supporters who loved the show and everything else affiliated with Oprah Winfrey. I was proud to see a strong, black woman rise up from a troubled childhood and climb the ladder of success, but in recent years my support of Oprah has dwindled tremendously. I don’t watch her show and I wouldn’t even consider picking up an issue of  her magazine. But this blog post is not about the various reasons I no longer support the Big O. This blog post is about Oprah’s continued support of singer BeBe Winans even after he was accused of physically assaulting his ex-wife in February of this year. It is about Oprah speaking publicly about her disdain for Chris Brown after his altercation with Rihanna, but still remaining bubbly and friendly with BeBe Winans as if one abuser is better than the other. Abuse is abuse regardless of who the abuser is.

BeBe was arrested, as was Chris Brown. Both men were taken to jail for a physical act of violence against a woman. Oprah, in my opinion handled the Chris Brown situation from a judgmental point of view. She not only spoke her opinion on the situation, but she also did an entire segment on Domestic Violence; a subject that the Big O didn’t appear to give a damn about before the Chris Brown and Rihanna incident.  Yet, in the case of BeBe Winans, who is one of Oprah’s favorite singers and close friends, she seems to have a innocent until proven guilty view of the situation. Even after the arrest and a pending court appearance, BeBe Winans will be hosting Oprah’s Karaoke Challenge which will air November 5, 2009.

Of course Oprah can befriend whomever she likes. She can have anyone on her show that she chooses, but I seriously do not believe that Oprah would allow Chris Brown to host a podcast, nonetheless a portion of her show.  Her actions when handling both of these situations just seems hypocritical and biased. Whether it be a push, which is what BeBe Winans was accused of doing, or a full out attack as in the case of Chris Brown, domestic violence is wrong.

If you are going to speak out on domestic violence and take a stance against it, do so without being biased. Do so without approaching the situation as a victim supporter and an abuser trasher…unless the abuser is your close friend. Don’t  look at it with a different set of eyes and speak on it with a different voice just because he is a gospel singer and a close friend.  That, Oprah is hypocritical.

 With the celebrity status that Oprah Winfrey has, she of all people should know that there are three sides to every story. Neither Oprah nor the rest of the world was in the car with Chris Brown and Rihanna, neither were we witness to the incident that occurred between BeBe Winans and his ex-wife Debra Winans. With that being said, we are not aware of the full details of either incident.

Oprah is quoted as saying in relation to the Chris Brown & Rihanna incident:

Love doesn’t hurt. And if a man hits you once, he will hit you again

If that is your belief, apply that to every abuser Oprah, not just Chris Brown. Please don’t get me wrong, I feel that the show was very beneficial. It not only gave the issue of domestic violence a louder voice, but it spoke about and to a group of people who are becoming victims of domestic violence far too often, teenage girls.

I just feel that efforts to end domestic violence should; provide awareness of the issue, assistance to victims and help for the abusers. You can’t have one without the other, if the cycle of violence is to be broken.

Shame on you Jet magazine

bebececeI picked up  a copy of Jet Magazine yesterday, flipped a few pages and before I knew it I was at the end of the magazine. Something was wrong. I knew it felt rather light when I picked it up, but seriously something was wrong.

The magazine is so skimpy now that if you aren’t careful you will miss the four to five pages of actual content. There are more advertisements and subscription cards then there are actual interviews and articles.

Shame on you Jet Magazine! Whatever happened to picking up a Jet Magazine and reading about what is going on in Black America as far as culture, entertainment, news, history, beauty etc. What happened to seeing an eye-catching cover and knowing that you would find a well written story along with tons of other interesting articles? Now the magazine is a thin as a pamphlet. I was shocked when I flipped to read the cover story about BeBe and  CeCe Winan’s  new album Still in the latest issue of Jet and realized that even though the cover story was near the end of the magazine, I only found one item to read before I reached it. Of course there was still the Beauty of the Week and the Black History facts, but where were all of the “other” stories? Why was the cover story the only “meat” of the magazine?”

I do realize that both Jet Magazine and Ebony Magazine are both published by Johnson Publishing Company, but that is no excuse for Ebony Magazine having plenty of content, while Jet Magazine is scarce and skimpy.

Chris Brown & Rihanna (my two cents)

2007_6_betawards1We have all seen and heard the mountain of news stories, radio talk shows, blog posts etc concerning the incident between Rihanna and Chris Brown. Media outlets such as TMZ  and Access Hollywood have had day to day coverage on the story. For a while I stopped paying attention because it was becoming too much of a media circus. The truth has become too far and beyond and the here say and exaggeration overpowered the real issues of the case.

For those of you who know me personally you know that I take domestic violence very seriously. I in no way support abusers and I take a strong stand against violence against women.

With that being said, I would like to first address  the fact that I along with everyone except Chris Brown and Rihanna were not present the night of the incident. We are only partakers of what the news media chooses to report. What has been reported ranges from allegations of Rihanna giving Chris Brown herpes, to Rihanna attacking Chris Brown in the car because Leona Lewis text him. Then there was the story that it wasn’t Leona Lewis, but another woman that text Chris Brown that sent Rihanna into a frenzy that led her to hit Chris Brown with her shoe. The stories have been never-ending and recently it was reported that Rihanna has decided to tell the police the true story about the night’s events. This story includes a woman texting Chris Brown, Rihanna becoming enraged and attacking him as he drove. Chris tried to get control of her while remaining in control of the car and the fight ensued. This led to both parties throwing blows in the moving vehicle and outside of the vehicle.  

The many comments I have heard and seen concerning Rihanna’s decision to remain in a relationship with someone who allegedly  beat her have been for the most part negative and ignorant. When a woman stays with an abusive partner there are underlying issues and that issue is not just the fact that she loves him. If you allow someone to physically abuse you it is guaranteed that you have some emotional issues going on as well. Physical abuse and emotional abuse go hand in hand. Even if the abuser isn’t saying things that have you emotionally distressed the victim’s own self esteem issues feelings of worthlessness are .  Many people wonder why and how a woman can continue to love and stay with a man that abuses her, but if you are an emotional wreck and don’t really know where to turn or how to get out of the situation, you will remain in the situation. Many times women are embarrassed to seek help. So many times women hear all of the negative remarks about women remaining in these situations being stupid and deserving what they get, they are afraid to speak up and seek help for themselves.

The news has also reported that Brown is now seeking a plea deal in which he would not have to serve any jail time. This could only happen if the federal charges he is facing are dropped to misdemeanors. How could the courts allow that to happen, well if the recent reports are true and Rihanna is going to admit to initiating the fight by slapping Chris Brown first, then proceeding to hit him in the face with her shoe the felony charges have a great chance of being reduced to misdemeanors because of Rihanna’s actions. For many people the news of the plea deal is shocking, but as I stat4ed before, we don’t know the whole or true story, so in the end we have two adults who have decided that regardless of what happened that night they want to be together….that is their choice.

Diddy who is friend to both Rihanna and Brown recently caught flack for allowing the pair to reconcile at his Miami home. While on the  Ellen DeGeneres Show Diddy talked about his decision to allow the couple to spend time together at his home.

Here is the video of Diddy explaining his reasoning behind his decision

In my opinion the media’s attack of Diddy over this is ridiculous. Rihanna and Chris Brown are adults. If they come to a friend and ask a favor, why wouldn’t he grant that favor. How many of us in our everyday lives have known that our friends relationships had major problems and we allowed them time to talk it out. Not because we approved of any negative behavior, but because we were their friend.

Then there is the entire show that Oprah dedicated to the topic of Dating Violence & Battered Women. Oprah is beginning to pluck my last nerve. I know that many of you are strong supporters of Oprah Winfrey but I am not for many reasons. I won’t go into detail here because that would be an entire blog entry in itself, but I will say that sometimes we need to realize that everything isn’t our business. Everything isn’t an opportunity for us to speak up and speak out on, especially if we are going to make accusations and pass judgments when we don’t know the facts.

Along with Oprah was Tyra Banks, who recounted on the show her own personal battle with and abusive boyfriend. Banks stated that the boyfriend was not physically abusive, but was very jealous, controlling and emotionally abusive.

Banks and Winfrey’s message was that Love Doesn’t Hurt and that if a man hits you once he will hit you again. Winfrey went on to say that regardless of if Rihanna hit Brown first, he had no right to hit her.

I know I may get ridiculed for this, but I don’t agree with that statement. I in no way approve of men battering women, but human nature does not always allow the first reaction of walking away. It is 100% wrong for a man to hit a woman, just as it is 100% wrong for a woman to hit a man. We should all live by the golden rule we learned way back in kindergarten which is “everyone keep their hands to their self’. This action will keep everyone out of trouble. Now in the event that a woman does hit a man he should walk away. But how many times can you walk away from someone hitting you? How many times have the people who are passing judgment just sucked it up and walked away when someone/anyone hit them? So just as Chris Brown is being verbally pounded and chastised for laying hands on Rihanna if she started the attack, she also needs to be counseled and talked to profusely about keeping her hands to herself.

I know that many people who are watching the news coverage of the Chris and Rihanna ordeal was swayed to believe everything the news reports. It is hard not to look at Chris Brown as a monster who deserves to be thrown underneath the jail. But I can personally speak on behalf of abused women and I can also speak on behalf of one of the many people who witness on a regular basis women who cannot control their anger when it comes to their man. Just as I have a personal account of being a battered woman I also know many women who will throw blows and start fights with men and live this dramified life every day.

To end this I would like to say that Domestic Violence is wrong…end of story.

But for those of us who were not there we can’t say how it happened, who started it and what the outcome should be. For our own lives are oftentimes not as much of a clean slate as we would like them to be. If we can throw stones at Chris Brown for hitting a woman and we can ridicule Rihanna for reconciling with him, we should also throw stones at our self for the bad relationship we remained in for way too long. We should ridicule our self for slapping our ex boyfriend because we found out he was cheating. We should reminisce on each time we started drama and lived to tell about it because each one of those incidents could have been one where someone took our drama serious and ended our life.

John 8:7

He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

Teen Pregnancy-Post 1

belly-brownTeen pregnancy is on the rise….

I am pretty sure everyone is aware that teen pregnancy is on the rise. Everywhere you look there are babies having babies. I can speak personally on the topic because I was a teen mother. I got pregnant with my oldest son my senior year in high school.

One of the biggest disagreements I have when it comes to views of why most teen girls get pregnant is that they were somehow influenced by the media…I do agree that the media; including videos, television and the music industry play a major role in how teenage girls and boys view sex and their personal identities, but I disagree when it comes down to media influence and the actual act of having unprotected sex resulting in pregnancy.

For the most part I believe that teen pregnancy is the  result of carelessness and being irresponsible.  Unprotected sex is not the main result of media influence, unprotected sex is the main result of being irresponsible due to lack of knowledge or lack of putting the knowledge into play.

When teenagers are acting irresponsibly and having unprotected sex I can guarantee that images like the one below is not what is going through their head at that very moment.

harpers_narrowweb__300x41501

In the heat of the moment they aren’t concerned with how hot Britney Spears looked with her big belly or how fierce Halle Berry looked soon after she gave birth. No, they are concerned with having sex, nothing more, nothing less. 

True their paths before making the dangerous and immature decision of having unprotected sex may have beenfilled with consumption of half naked young ladies gyrating in music videos, or watching television shows and reading countless magazines that publish articles on hot pregnant celebrities, but that alone is not why teens are having unprotected sex and having babies.

Many of these teens who are having unprotected sex are not facing reality when it comes to what the act of not using protection can cause. Sure they know about sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies, but they still don’t always use protection for numerous reasons.

  • One reason being that they really don’t take protection that seriously.  They know that it is important but for them using protection each and every time they have sex is not a mandatory or necessary step.
  • Another reason is that many of them are putting ill fated trust in their partners and in their self. They are under the pretense that their partner is clean and that they both know how to not get pregnant even when not using protection. That may sound ridiculous, but it is reality. Many teens are using the “pull out” method also known as the highest baby making method to date. They are under the false assumption that a young man can pull out of the vagina before he ejaculates. This method is being used by countless numbers of teens, most of whom have or will soon come face to face with teen pregnancy. 
  • Others are not using protection because they really don’t feel comfortable buying condoms or talking to their parents or other adults about birth control because that means they are admitting that they are having sex. Instead of facing facts and getting the information and guidance that they need they sneak around and have unprotected sex putting their self at risk for STDs and unwanted pregnancies, along with tons of emotional stress.

The statistics show that teen  mothers are 40% more likely to

*drop out of school

 *end up single mothers

I wholly agree. I was a teen mother who had to drop out of college after the first semester, forfeiting a full scholarship. I also fell into the category of single parent by the age of 24.

An article published with stats from the CDC  on teen pregnancy rates states that  Mississippi has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the nation, followed by Texas and New Mexico. All three states have high numbers of teen births with the majority of the pregnancies being African American or Hispanics.  The article also states that; “Some conservative organizations have argued that contraceptive-focused sex education is still common, and that the new teen birth numbers reflect it is failing.”

I agree. The sex education classes offered in schools are a complete mockery.  Most teens are unfortunately learning about sex from their peers and from personal experience. They are not being informed in their schooling the hard hitting facts about sex, sexually transmitted diseases and teen pregnancy. They don’t take the classes seriously and the information provided in the classes is just the basic, these are your reproductive organs and information on body image. This information is informative, but not practical for teens that know what sex is, want to have it and know that they like it.

I was surprised to read that in some states two types of sex ed are classes being offered in schools depending on  what the state or local school district mandates. Both seem much more effective than the general Lifetime Wellness classes that many of us took and never thought twice about.

Even with these classes and some schools offering condoms, the rate of teen pregnancies is still on the rise, even more so for the Southern region of the United States. Personally I don’t know what can be done, when the information is readily available, there are countless forms of birth control and the evidence of the effects of  unprotected sex is in plain view for those who are taking the risk. Yet, teens everywhere are still neglecting to use protection.

This video really touched me. It reminds me so much of when I was a young mother and faced the reality that my baby depended upon me for everything that he needed. I knew that I had made a mistake that could not be changed, but the love I had for that little boy filled my heart enough that I could get over my mistake and try to be more for him and for myself.

Teen Pregnancy Post 2 to include the topics of 
(peer pressure, baby fascination 
parental involvement and generational teen pregnancy)

No Comment

Yes I love my children, yes it is my duty to protect them and love them unconditionally. Every parent should feel that unconditional love and duty of protection for their children, however, if put in a situation where they had committed a heinous crime or done something disrespectful or admittedly wrong my answer to the press would be “No comment.”

 I unlike the mother of William Balfour, whose son is a person of interest in the murders of the family members of Jennifer Hudson, would not demand that my son is innocent and that he has an alibi. And I be damned if I would even throw in that the media is freely spewing negativity about my son, but had yet to mention that he got his GED while incarcerated. 

||blank stare||

Whoop de damn doo, your son obtained his GED while incarcerated for robbing innocent people, carjacking and oh let’s not forget that little thing that happened where he attempted to murder someone. Let’s not forget that a seven year old INNOCENT child was savagely murdered along with two adults. Let’s not forget that your son was being held because he may have information about the murders. Let’s not forget that the Hudson family is grieving and their tragedy and grief is being broadcast all over the nation.

Michele Davis-Balfour all you should feel the need to say to any news reporter, talk show host or anyone else requesting information about this crime is “No Comment”.  Your defense of your son is inconsiderate and embarrassing.

If William Balfour is found to have no ties to these murders that would be great news for his family. But to make any kind of comment in your son’s defense while the Hudson family is in mourning is horrid Michele Davis-Balfour…just horrid.

People need to discontinue the excuse making for murderers, racists, pathological liars, child molesters, irresponsible idiots and the other laundry list of misfits. Sure you may love them, and sure you may think they won’t harm a fly, but if that is the case why does their record show differently? Why have they been convicted of similar or in some cases identical crimes if they are harmless?  Why is it that everyone is out to get your precious little baby who has not and would not do anything harmful to anyone (at least that you know of).

When placed in a situation where you only know the half, don’t try to tell the whole because you make yourself look like a fool and most times your precious baby is as wrong as two left shoes.

Just say “No Comment”

Noooo WIRE HANGERS!!!

Many times I have pondered over how I would deal with life if I were a superstar. Honestly I have very little assurance that I would handle it well. I can’t see myself being followed by paparazzi or having to dress up even when I didn’t feel like it. I could see myself now going to an interview looking like I just came from Kinko’s or something lol I compare my life as a superstar to a line from one of my favorite movies of all time. No More Wire Hangers from the movie Mommie Dearest  would be how I handled life when placed under tons of stress and deadlines. I am already a very impatient person, so if I had to live the life of a celeb there would be plenty of No More Wire Hangers moments.

 

I can see myself now, five interviews in one day, then jumping on a plane to do a photo shoot, then heading for a late night appearance on a talk show. By the time I got home I would have to pull a No More Wire Hangers on somebody, hell even if it were just myself.

I can’t even imagine dealing with the cocky, unsympathetic, irritating, sons of witches in the industry or having to deal with people also known as fans who would feel that my life should be an open book.

I would be a time bomb ready to go off and before I could get control of myself every moment would be a No More Wire Hangers moment.

 Someone forgot to return a call- No More Wire Hangers Moment.

I was misquoted in an article- No More Wire Hangers moment.

My dress for the award show doesn’t fit right- No More Wire Hangers Moment.

My publicist overbooked me- No More Wire Hangers Moment. 

Now I have insomnia because of all of the above- No More Wire Hangers Moment.

It would seriously be a mess. I would be on the news at least once a month for going berserk on somebody.

Give me the simple life, all of that hoopla just isn’t for me!

Clay Aiken is gay, well who woulda thought?

<—-If his mouth  never said it..those bangs definitely did! lol

Clay Aiken is now ready to say “Yes, I Am Gay”

Clay baby, who didn’t know that? We were just waiting on you to accept the fact that you knew, we knew and that it wasn’t a secret. lol

Clay Aiken will officially come out of the closet in an upcoming issue of People Magazine.

For years it has been rumored that Clay Aiken was gay, but the American Idol runner-up has always refused to even acknowledge the rumors. He was even linked to  former American Idol contestant Kimberly Locke, those rumors were quickly shot down by both Aiken and Locke.

The American Idol star who has also starred on Broadway and has had success in the music industry recently became a father by way of artificial insemination. Aiken states that becoming a father was his main reason for coming forth with the truth about his sexuality. Aiken states that

It was the first decision I made as a father,” Aiken told the magazine, which arrives on newsstands Friday. “I cannot raise a child to lie or to hide things. I wasn’t raised that way, and I’m not going to raise a child to do that

Clay Aiken is gay, well who woulda thought surprise